A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i need advice please.im asian and married to a german man, we are already 10 years together. I dont have problem with my husband, he is ok to me. im living here in germany with my husband for nearly 3 years.my problem is the people here. im still having a hard time to adjust to their culture. they are so aggresive, loud, people specialy woman are so mean, extreme mean'. i dont mean 100% of them but at least 79% it is. they are more on looking down specially asian like me. they simply shout at you in a nonsense matters like you made a mistake by parking your car with one 1/2 of your whell is out of the line with a very angry eyes. like they are gonna call a police to prove to you that you made such a big mistake in your whole life. or your dog bark at 7:30 in the night near at their window, which you didnt mean because you just accidentally pass by to that area, its like you disturb their total peaceful intire life. i dont understand. i was in thailand for long years and never have that kind of trouble. if you did something wrong, people talk to you in a right manner,with smile and very diplomatic way, talk to you in discent way, not with loudness and the eyes like they gonna kill you. i dont care anymore what this people here do, this is how they grow up and i dont wanna be responsible for their changes.but i really dont know how can i start to adjust to this. how can i avoid this kind of people, i dont want to stock in my hause either. but there is almost 60% of me going outside that i always encounter this kind of behaviour and im in the position that im gonna break down because of holding my nerve.. pls. i need a little help thank you all Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2013): Hi
I think 'Austere' may be a better word than Agressive. Many Germans I have met are lovely and have helped me out when I have travelled. In all cultures there are Austere, hard, aggressive people as there are nice people also.
I would say don't take it personal and don't let it change you,maybe smile even more.
Hey look on the bright side in the culture you worry about, you won't get your head chopped off , or blown to smitherines for a good cause, just a few stern voices and stares, hardly worth worrying about and staying indoors.
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (19 July 2013):
Dear OP,
First of all I'm very sorry that this is your impression of germany :( I don't know thailand but I have some asian friends and I can imagine the culture is very different. Germans have a culture of showing their displease. I don't like it either, it makes us look childish sometimes. It's mostly harmless, but I agree there are some idiots. It also depends on the area that you live, because some neighborhoods are more rude than others.
I think a part of your feeling is also that you miss home. When I travel, I also sometimes have days where I feel people are more mean and strange in the other country than in mine. For instance, brazil is known to have such nice people, but when I was there, I was always scared I'd be robbed or something.
There are also nice and quiet people in germany, but of course they are more in the background, so you might not notice them. In order to feel more comfortable, I would recommend you try to find friends in germany. That way, you will find it easier to forget the rude people and feel more at home. Maybe you can join a sports club, dance lesson, language course or starting another hobby here? That way you meet locals and get to know them. You could also ask your husband to help you find friends here. And of course it's important to speak german, because people from every culture are more accepting when they can talk to you in their own language.
Also, maybe it would help to connect with some people from thailand who live in your area, because they know what you're going through and can give you advice. And maybe when you're away it's just a good feeling to speak your mother tongue and feel at home. I think it's important to adjust to a new culture, but also you should have a place in germany where you feel you can be yourself. It will give you more energy to deal with the other, more difficult issues.
Viel Glück!
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A
female
reader, goldie22  +, writes (18 July 2013):
Hey there, I have german family and I sometimes find that their sense of humour and the way they act is very different to my own and we always seem to misunderstand eachother. There are good and bad people where ever you go, no matter what country you are in. The key is to firstly make sure that you make an effort to understand the culture in germany, make an effort to learn the language and then go out and find some good friends. If you have an interest in something join a club and then you will have something in common with those people. Not everybody is out to be mean to you I promise. I wish you all the best of luck. x
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