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female
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anonymous
writes: Im 44yrs young and im engaged to a wonderfull man who is 22 we love each other very much. we have been together for 9 mnths. other people have been nasty about the age gap. my best friend died in july and im letting these people affect my way of thinking since she died i am very paranoid and scared. this is the second suicide this year. im of spiritual nature and i just cant get my head around my behaviour of late. any help and advice would be very helpfull thankyou
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female
reader, veryred +, writes (21 December 2006):
Hi,I am a woman who usually likes younger men and I found out that it makes everyone uncomfortable except the men I get involved with. It s mostly "old acting", insecure, boring men my age (40) who don't like it because I am not interested in them and women who married such bores who are jealous that they don't have the freedom to date someone younger. If anything, your friend's passing should encourage you to live your life to the fullest and love the way you want. Only people who are unhappy about their own love life could find anything wrong with the age gap.Go for your bliss and let the love scrouges point the finger...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006): Well, you don't really say what the problem is with your behavior, it just sounds like you are worried about the age gap because others are nasty to you.
I have never had an age gap relationship, I would really like to know how you had the courage to go through with it and how you makek your relationship work.
I had a guy that pursued me that I really liked and was attracted to, but he was also 22 years younger than me, I am 2 years older than his own mother, I just could not go through with it and he ran to another girl his own age and now they are engaged, he did this within a matter of 2 months after I spurned him, and I can tell you it cut me to the core! I am still convinced I am too old for him, but I am sad that we met at the wrong time in our lives because we really connected, and man is he gorgeous!
So hang in there, more power to you, and please let me know how to get my young one back, just kidding I guess, it is too late, they are getting married in 6 months.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2006): Age is only a number, it's about how you two both feel about one another. Don't let others put a dampner on things. Go out there and enjoy life.
Your best friend's death must still pray heavily on your mind, but try not to let it spoil what you two have.
I wish you both well for the future.
xx
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (21 November 2006):
 I am in an age-gap relationship of 11 years. My husband is younger and I have had a few nasty comments about being his 'mother' from, what are, sad people. I think as long as you are happy with your relationship then other people should not affect you. I understand that you are grieving at the moment and this is affecting your thinking. I think happy relationships are a foundation of a good life and if you think you have found it then feel glad as there are lots of lonely people out there. I think developing a sense of humour about the toy-boy thing helps me deal with the judgements made so maybe you have to learn to laugh off the comments...ask them if they are jealous? I would say, however, that your partner is at an age when he will still be getting to know who he is so take the engagement slowly and don't rush into marriage as you have only known each other for a short period of time.
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