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female
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anonymous
writes: Please help I've been sleeping with my best friends husband with her consent. It was a sex arrangement that suited us all and no1 knew, til now. Her 16yr old daughter caught us and don't know what to say. We all want to stay friends but have agreed the arrangement stops now. I think we should tell the truth, as much as its going to hurt, but my friends want to concoct a story which is best?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2007): i think it sad but dick is dick but that is her husband and very confusing you dont know what to do next stay away i gueess
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (5 June 2006):
 Yep you must sit her down and tell the absolute truth...something like this "Honey, we three adults are idiots to have made this stupid sex arrangement and even more amazingly idiotic to do it where you could walk in on us." Anything along those lines would be the absolute truth. Sheesh!
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female
reader, thebestof the rest +, writes (2 June 2006):
you shouldnt be making a story you shouldnt even be doing this this man has a family apologize to him and his family now you have prbobly reced this family for good so id make it right or you will regret it yo will lose friends and everyone will think of you as a family rekor fix it now
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female
reader, camille  +, writes (2 June 2006):
 I guess we don't need to know why this arrangement stands and why either of the women think that no-one would get hurt when you are best friends. Not sure why either agreed to this but whatever, lies breed lies. To be caught by the daughter was totally irresponsible. Surely this arrangement would only work away from the marital home? Finding parents engaged in sexual activity can be traumatic enough without it being with someone else. The daughter needs to be gently told the truth in as much as everyone knew and it wasn't an affair or cheating etc but again, she doesn't have to be told why. She will have questions, the first of which will probably be 'why?' it's best to find a diplomatic way of telling her that it's a private matter that doesn't need to be disclosed. If she is told that it is no threat to her or her parent's marriage she may accept what she saw, but not for it to continue. If she is mature, she may come round but don't treat her like a child and don't let them make you take the blame. I do think it's time to re-assess if this arranegment is really a good idea at all.
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female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (2 June 2006):
 The truth is the only way to go in a situation like this. At 16 the daughter is old enough I would say to be told the truth. Whichever way it is put to her its going to make somebody look bad, whether her mum knew or not. The truth will evidently come out in the end anyway, so why lie in the first place. Afterall you dont want it to get around town that your a homewrecker, because that the story they will no doubt come up with! Its not ideal, but the truth does need to be told.
Take care x
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2006): Chunky Monkey, Ms. Anon said the sex was with her consent, meaning the best friend's consent. The problem is that the 16 year old who is the daughter of the best friend saw Ms. Anon and the best friend's husband do it, which may not be a good thing, as kids at that age (or any) may not take it very well.
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female
reader, chunky_monkey +, writes (2 June 2006):
ummm, if she really was your best friend how could you cause her so much pain by sleeping with her husband. I really don't think she is your best friend
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2006): I think you are right that telling the truth is best.
How are you going to make up a story? This 16yr old daughter won't keep what she found secret for long.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2006): Hi there.. tricky... erm... how are they going to concoct a story without you looking the bad one? I'd really talk this through with them before they give any explanation, but also you have to consider what explanation will best suit the child, whether it be the truth or not! Whose feelings do you spare, yours for having sex to suit you or a 16 yrd old finding out her dad was sleeping with someone else and her mum new about it... wheres the respect in the relationship and what will that teach her. This is not meant to be harsh, but the childs the main important one in this. After all you are adults. Good Luck
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