A
male
age
41-50,
*at262
writes:I have been married for 9 years, and me and my wife have lost connection physically and emotionally. We have tried professional help, but it doesn't seem to work. We have 2 children and I don't want to leave them behind, but I have been trying to get our relationship working for the past 4 years. Friends keep telling me to think about my health and happiness, because if I'm not happy and healthy I won't enjoy time with my children. It's true, I'm stressed, depressed and under medication because of all of this. Please help, any advise would be appreciated. What should I do? Leave or stick it out, even though we are not happy?
View related questions:
depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Midge  +, writes (20 August 2007):
 Go! Its not often that I would say that, but if you have already tried councelling and it doesnt work then you really have done what you can for the marriage.
Although you will not be living with your kids, it doesnt mean that you arent their father, or that you dont love them, it just means that you arent in love with their mother anymore. Its also better for the kids to see you as a happy father who lives someone else, rather than an unhappy one that lives with them.
Just because the marriage ends, your ties to your kids doesnt have to, and I am pretty sure wont!! You seem very concerned about the kids, so think that you are a very good dad.
Be happy within yourself and your kids will feel it too.
I am sure that if you feel this way about the relationship, your wife will too! She may be feeling the same way but just not have the guts to call it quit! Have a chat to her and see what she says. The kids will be fine knowing they have two parents that love them!
A
female
reader, jae16  +, writes (20 August 2007):
hey,
i had the same feelings about my ex husband. i have just recently left and our daughter ( four) is coping OK. I would have loved for it to work out but sometimes life is tougher than you expect (strap on a helmet, as my mama used to say) there are years of expectation ahead of you, ou wife and your children. Life won't end there and although it might be tough for a while......what would you prefer?Do you all want to struggle through?
...............................
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (20 August 2007):
 I understand that you do not want to leave your children behind, but just because you no longer live there it does not mean to say you have to stop seeing them.
I think it would effect your children in a bigger way if they have to see their dad everyday and he is unhappy than if they saw you a couple of times a week and you were extremly happy and making a new life for yourself.
Your friends are absolutly right in saying you need to think about your own health and happiness.
Have a heart to heart with your wife if you have tried professional help and it has not helped she probably feels the same, you need to do whats best for both of you.
Take care.xx.
...............................
|
