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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi all,I'm 18 (nearly 19 now) and my boyfriend is 25, almost 26. We'd been friends for two years prior to dating and age was never a problem in the friendship. So, since we both felt the same way, we took it a step further.We've been dating about 10 months now, and age still has not come into play. I don't know if that means I'm really mature, or he's really immature, or maybe we just click. Whatever the case, the relationship is going very well, and I love him. My friends and family like him, the relationship is pretty ideal right now. We have some problems, but none of it is age-gap related.Yet.I've just been thinking a lot about it lately. He's seven years older than me. Small numerically, but it's a HUGE gap when you're my age. I'm at University, and he's already been graduated for a few years. He has a career, I haven't even started mine yet.This is going to sound ridiculous, but..here goes. Hilary Duff and her boyfriend (19 and 27) were always sort of my inspiration. I'd look to them and say "They can make it work, they're not letting age be a problem." and then I found out today that they broke up because of their age difference.I'm starting to think...I may never catch up to my boyfriend. When he's ready to marry and settle down, I probably won't be. I can't hold him back from living his life just because I haven't even begun mine yet. I'm very much younger than him and although it's not causing problems now, it probably will eventually.Add to all that the fact that some very outspoken people have voiced their opinions on "a man dating a teenager"...it's just stressful thinking about the negativity surrounding it.I guess he really is just too old for me. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost. On the one hand I love him and see no reason to break up while the relationship is so great. On the other hand, I'm not naive enough to think that we'll never have age problems.Help? Wisdom? Anything?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006): i'm 18 and seeing someone who is 24, we've been seeing each other going on 2 years - at first the age difference was a bit daunting, i was only finishing high school and he was finishing his degree! If i'm honest, if i'd known he was that much older before we'd got to know each other, i probbaly wouldn't have let it go any further, but 2 years along the line life is great, we're still in love, we're happy so the age just isn't an issue anymore! at first people raised their eye brows, but when i hit 18 no one cared anymore - it was always in the back of my mind up until that point, but now i dont even think about it. You're 19 and he's 26 - you'll have your own lives to lead and at the end of the day you're in love with each other and in the grand scheme of things its not even that big of an age gap. 72 and 79! doesn't sound bad lol just see how it goes, you're lucky, you have someone, a lot of people are lonely.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2006): I would not worry about it. I am a 17 yr old senior in high school dating a 24 year old guy. We were also friends for a couple of years before we started dating. I think love can overcome age differences. I wish you the best of luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2006): You date him until you feel that there are problems between you two at the current moment that is unreconciliable. There is NO POINT to bringing possiblities of negative scenerios from the future into the present. You cannot benefit from this at all. Just continue on with your relationship until you feel you don't want this relationship any more. Worrying so much is meaningless. Worrying just brings about a whole chain of doubts and anxiety that can cause the current relationship a whole lot of stress.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2006): don't think too much into the future. because you're not there yet and there's nothing you can do about it. and especially don't judge your relationship by hilary duff. but that aside, if you're happy, you're happy. and if none of the problems in your relationship are age-related, don't worry about it. you may have age-related problems down the road, you may not. but why worry about it now when it doesn't affect you now? i have a friend who's been in a good, solid relationship with someone who's over 11 years older than her. she's 21, he's 32. and they're doing very well. i don't think age plays that big of a factor when two people love each other. just as long as they are willing to compromise.
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