A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Am I being ridiculous or do I have a reason to be worried and sick over this? My girlfriend called me last night after work and we talked a while. Everything was perfectly normal and great. She told me she was going to take some adderall (I'm not a fan of this) and pull an all nighter studying because she has an online exam this afternoon. Well we get off the phone around 1045. I haven't heard from her since. This is NOT like her. She always calls or texts before bed etc. I kept thinking maybe she just fell asleep because her and I were up really late the night before. But twelve hours is a long time to sleep without once waking up and checking your phone! Am I wrong for being sick over this? I've told her through text I'm worried like crazy. Am I over reacting? Or is this logical and legitimate?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): I like the advice so_very_confused gave. It's very true that there is a generation gap when it comes to communication within dating. I'm about the same age as you (poster) roughly and I can say that while I was a kid and teenager, as I'm sure was the same for you, we only had home phones, but once I became an adult and hit dating age, technology developed rapidly. And it changed the entire dynamic of dating. if I don't hear from my gf before she goes to bed, I would be worried, too. Because that's our routine. And if it breaks the routine, it makes you a bit uncomfortable and worried that something is wrong or happened to them. And especially if it had been 15 hours and that NEVER has happened before. Also, if she had missed her test in the afternoon or anything else important, that would definitely make me extremely worried, too. But I'm a worrier, myself. So I actually see where you're coming from. Some people are freaks when it comes to their phones and staying in constant contact and get insecure if you haven't texted them back in five minutes. Those people are the ones I tell to tone it down. But not hearing from your girl in 15 hours when its way outside the norm for you as a couple, I could see where that would be worrysome.I'm sorry to hear about your gf. I hope for a speedy recovery.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 March 2013):
 Well I'm sorry to hear she had a car wreck and I hope she's going to recovery quickly.
To be honest however, no contact for a mere 12 hours is really not a big deal in most cases. Based on the information you provide in the initial question I would have had the same reaction.
I think it depends on how long you have been a couple and various other factors... do you live in the same city, do you speak every hour, do you normally stay at each others places.... that sort of thing.
Part of the problem for my generation is that we grew up with house phones. No email, no skype, no facebook no twitter no cell phones.
If a boy called me he normally had to talk to one of my parents first and ask to speak to me... the question "where are you?" was never asked on the phone because you were HOME if you answered the phone. Heck we didn't even have answering machines till I was a late teen...
Today young folks have instant contact 24/7... texting, cell phones, tweets, facebook...email on your phone... and everyone expects 24/7 access to their friends and lovers... and sometimes folks just need a bit of space..
FWIW I've gone over 24 hours without even looking at my cell phone (and i often turn the ringer off anyway)
I do think, in your case, even though your gf was in an accident you are over-reacting just a bit....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): No actually it wasn't a joke. And it turns out she had a car wreck. But thanks for the advice.
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A
female
reader, LaceratedReality  +, writes (5 March 2013):
Is this a joke? 12 hours is nothing, get a grip otherwise she will run for the hills.
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