A
female
age
36-40,
*aym33
writes:My situation right now is that I feel like am at the bottom of the pit and that I struggle to be back up and out of this.I am staying with a couple who are in the middle of divorce right now.I've been staying with for a year now. Am I a foolish and stupid girl to be in contact with the husband?we started this messed up thing last august until now.so after that mostly their son spends time with me and the husband.It is like the wife is out of list and the husband told me so many things that he doesn't like about the wife but they've been married for ten years.I don't understand that part, but that's how it goes.lately I feel more comfortable and it's more fun to be with husband than the wife. I'd rather ask the husband to help me with anything, than the wife, but I can say that's how they are to me.they fought three or four times before the husband told the wife that he doesn't love her anymore and he wants a divorce, but that time him and me were still good I mean not in any drama.we've been fight like three times but in those past months and get back together after the anger has gone.I felt guilty in the first place we did something like that and I told him to better stop before it worse and he said after the next time.but after next time it never ended .but right now the wife and kid are leaving and the husband and me are staying.last three days,I asked him why he is acting like he doesn't love me anymore like his wife and he said he doesn't want to answer that question and he is like that.I am so sad that I know he doesn't want to be around me anymore or stay mad at me.he said one day that he doesn't like our relationship to end like him and his wife but I don't know what did I do that pushing him away from me or make him not interested in me anymore.i don't mean I really like him to have sex with me but as long that nobody's mad to anybody then that's okay with especially right now that only two us are staying in this house.I can say that I have a feeling for him after two or three months after we started our ugly relationship but I know that we cannot live like husband and wife and I don't plan to do that.I have my own plan of my future and I think he doesn't plan for that too.so when I am in the living room he won't come there until am gone.so today I stayed in my room for almost whole day and we haven't talk to each other until later this evening, almost midnight.I tried to ignore him or be like the first time I came to live with them that I don't have any feeling for him but it's hard.and am trying to do something to make him not mad at me or not hate me anymore so we can be friends again if not having sex anymore but still friends then it's fine with me because we've been doing it a couple months ago, until last week, and we know it's wrong but it's hard for us to stop. now we stopped but are not friends anymore.I think that not being friend anymore is the one who stopped it.well I need help to know what is good for me to do that can help me not having that feeling for him and him to be friends with me.am still staying here waiting for next month to go take test for the military and go somewhere not staying here anymore.me and the wife are still talking on the phone.I feel like I did something very wrong and i don't know what it is.please guys help me,tell me what should I do to make things good here and move on.
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affair, divorce, get back together, military, move on Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Kaym33 +, writes (20 May 2011):
Kaym33 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for keeping on posting some more advice and how you think of how I am right now and what situation I am in.I really appreciated it.I just found out about this site two days ago while searching online for help and luckily found this site.wow I really love it and talking with you guys.I feel like am so happy.alright thank you guys again and gud nite
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 May 2011):
 Wow, You have some "gonads" to sleep with the husband un their roof! (and so does he).
Honestly, I would move out. Start fresh without all that drama. He used you, because you were convinient. You were RIGHT there. This will hang over you (and the "relationship" for as long as you two are "together". I seriously don't see a happy ending or a future for you two.
He might blame YOU for the divorce, instead of owning his own actions.
And in my book you DID so something really wrong. You slept with a married man with no care for his wife and little self respect. I'm sure that is not what you want to hear though.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2011): You are so wrong on so many levels. You are staying with this family and you have been having an affair with the hb. Ouch! How could you. YOU are the reason this marriage has gone downhill and basically the wheel will turn where you will pay for hurting this family.
Of course the hb will take what you give him. He is a man after all and well if you have no respect for yourself, why should he have respect for you.
This affair will not last and soon everyone will know that you are a homewrecker. How could you do this to his wife and son?
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, Kaym33 +, writes (19 May 2011):
Kaym33 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah you guys are right I can say.am totally stupid but that I am having fun with him I know that what were doing is not good but I kinda ignore that part.but when it comes to now,how we are right now my mind says I want him to change his mind and tell his wife to come back and I want to erase that feeling out of me for him completely.my mind is like that but my feeling is hard to change.but I will try my very best to do it.I woke up this morning at his text on my phone that he's asking me if we I need anything from the store cuz he's going to the appointment.I said yes and we went but I keep on working at the"be friends not be like gf and bf".so I just got back home now and he's gone to his thing.I am kind of happy cuz yesterday we didn't talk to each other the whole day.and here's something I notice in our relationship,when I tried to be around so much or try to have some conversation with him it is like am pushing him away or forcing him to be away from me but it I try to be away from him most of the time and not talking to him,he gets close to me or use an excuse to get me around or to him.I don't understand why he is like that or we are like that.anyway thank you guys and am looking forward to receive some more answers or advice from you that can help me.I don't care if you say something harsh to me because I just want to hear from you straightly.my point is something that can help and am happy that you guys do understand what I am in right now and how mess it is.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2011): Are u seriously acting like the victim here!!!! Hello he cheated on his wife w/u and your scared if anybody is gonna be mad??? U pretty much erased any feelings might have had for his wife. U do need to get out of this relationship ASAP. U knew what u were doing and so did he. He pretty much got what he wanted w/u and he's through w/u. U need to erase him from your life and get somebody that's gonna be w/u for u and not just because your an escape for him. That's prob why he is ignoring u now. Good luck!
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