A
female
age
36-40,
*agrom
writes:I am 20 years old and a full time student. I work part time at my job and also clean houses for extra cash. I am a very stressful, anal person honestly. I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 years. I love him deeply and things were going very well for quite a long time. About 6 months ago my boyfriend quit his very good paying job. It was the best job he could have with only a high school diploma and for his age. The problem was that it was also a very hard working job. My father had done this job his whole life and moved up through the company. There was a lot of pressure on him to do this for the rest of his life and this was not what he wanted to do. He has always had many dreams and decided that we would work the job until fall semester and save money and start school. This did not happen. He quit the job 3 months before he planned with no savings. It has been six months and he still has not gotten a job. I have tried to help him any way that I can but I am also a struggling student with barely any money for myself. He is only 23 and has not decided what he wants to do with his life. I know that I should be patient and help him find his way, but it seems like he doesnt want to do any of it. He lives with his grandma so it is a good time for him to save money and try different things out because he has no expenses. He is the same exact person he was when I met him just now without a job. I know that I cannot compare him to myself because I have always been a driven person. I know exactly what I want with my life. I also know that it normally takes longer for men to grow up than women. My question is, is this a lost cause? Are we just too different? I have only thought about being with him, I cant imagine what it would be like without him. He is very laid back and passive which I think compliments myself. He keeps me from overthinking things and keeps me grounded. If I didnt have him I would be a 40 year old trapped in a 20 year olds body. I dont know what to do anymore. My head tells me to run and my heart tells me to stay and help and support him. Have we just grown too far apart and should we call it quits? Or is this something than can be worked out?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): I really want to stay and help him, but what do I do if it seems like he doesnt even want to help himself? I really do love him but I can't help thinking that he will never change. I don't think that I could be with him for the rest of my life the way that he is now. Sometimes it feels like he is my child. Is it wrong to think this way? Do men really grow up or will he be like this for the rest of his life? I know that he is depressed because he feels inferior, but it just seems like he doesnt care about anything anymore. I am just so confused. Oh this is Nagrom, I couldnt sign in.
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