A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm really upset because i thought a guy i was friends with really liked me when we first met 2 years ago he showed a real interest in me, i liked him a lot and helped him through a lot of personal trauma, he was in a bad financial way and again i helped. Fast forward 2 years and ive got him through his work exams etc and he seems to have 'changed'. He says he has more confidence but its not just that its the way he talks to me-can be extremely curt at times and knows i still really like him but rubs it into my face that other girls text and chat to him from these dating sites. At one point i admit i was too protective of him but at the time he says he neede it and i know hes lied to me a lot. We've had huge rows and the reason i know is because he asked me to go into his email one day and fix his resume which i did and a girl he said was texting him turned out to be scamming him-he said she was american-she was filipino. Also hes taking out payday loans yet is denying this ?? I've seen the evidence and am ashamed ive seen a lot of his emails but i had to , to realise how much hes lies and even now this year ive helped him roughly with £ 300 most months. I'm sick of being treated like this and i cant understand why he doesnt realise what hes got. He's more interested in going on dating sites and dirty chat sites. Have i completely wasted my time and energy with this person and why did he change so much please help !
View related questions:
confidence, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): I don't believe he ever changed; the person you're seeing now is the person he always was inside, but the burden of personal and financial hardships and the desire to impress you when the two of you met (by being on best behaviour, as we generally are when we come into contact with anyone new) hid that character for a long time. Long enough for him to completely abuse your compassionate and generous nature!
You're right to be sick of being treated in such a way. He's a liar and an opportunist and you mustn't let him exploit you for a moment longer. If he's such a confident person nowadays, he can manage without you, right? Anyway, he's not your problem (although I do understand that when you're an empathetic person you can't help but feel responsible for the welfare of those you care about whether they deserve it or not).
Don't think he doesn't realise what he's got - he does, and he's prepared to carry on taking advantage of it for as long as you allow him to do so. You may feel like you've wasted your time and energy with this individual but nobody could blame you for being misguided in your selflessness. It's happened before to everyone with a good heart :) There's a lot to be learned from this experience, and you can walk away from it a stronger person with your conscience clear. You've tried saving him; there's nothing more you can do. Now it's time to save yourself instead. Good luck and take care x
|
