A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok... this isnt really a relationship question I know, but I still need any advice you can give me.I've just started University and I'm far away from home and my friends and everything. And I thought i would be ok, but I've gone a bit off the rails and it scares me. I got very drunk and did things I didnt want to do. A person who I value very much (even though I have only known him a week) told me something in confidence which I then told someone else because I was drunk. I dont know why I did it and I feel like the worst person in the world, even though he has said its all alright. I hate myself.The same night I also went back with a couple of boys to their room, and ended up smoking a joint and talking about pills like I do them all the time, and now they think im a complete druggy but im not, and i think people will either think im a liar or a druggie and i dont know which is worst.To make matters worse, a family member back home is in a lotof trouble, and I can't help them, but it doesnt stop me stressing and I feel like I have noone to talk to.I feel so ashamed of the way i have acted that i cant even face my flatmates and i havent left my room all day.Have i ruined my university life in the first week of freshers or can i recover?
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confidence, drunk, flatmate, liar, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008): Depends. If you cut it out and start acting like the person you really want to be, then, no - not at all. This will blow over, and in a couple of months, things will be on track. (Just give it time.)
If you get yourself so worked up over it that you keep going out and doing more stupid things (like getting sloshed and telling your bff's deepest secrets to the world), then ... well, people will hate you.
Chalk it up to lessons learned and do better next time.
But really .. do better next time.
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (27 September 2008):
 relax you are suffering from alcohol induced paranoia. the lapses in judgement it causes can leave you feeling mortified along with the depletion of neurotransmitters that are needed to make you feel happy.uni is swarmimg with drugs and at first everyone want to seem cool. just relax, drink less, dont go mad on pot (doing it all the time kills your motivation and i've seen it ruin quite a few degrees, though in small occasional doses its relatively benign), chill out because you are going through a time of upheaval and uncertainty whcih will of course make you insecure.be easy on yourself and know your limits with alcohol
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008): nah, ul be fine :)im repeating my 2nd year at uni the now cos i completely lost it last year lol...and even that isnt soo bad lol.good luck with your courses though!!! x
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (27 September 2008):
EVERYONE gets drunk and does stupid things at uni.Just take a breath and apologise to the girl who you betrayed.Learn from this mistake and don't drink so much next time and don't mix your drinks.Unis have loads of cheap drinks offers and shots but you don't have to do them. Have a lemonade or two when you feel you are getting too drunk and take it steady.The good news is that even if you don't get on with people in your halls there are a million clubs and societies you can join. I met some of my best friends through the student radio station and the writers group.Have fun and don't get stressed.Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008): NO!! of course you haven't ruined your university life.Keep your distance for a few days and on Monday start fresh! make a clean slate.. explain to people that you were really drunk, and that wasn't the real you at all. From now on dont go overboard when you go out drinking and you are less likely to do/act in a way that is not you- afterall the people you meet that are your TRUE friends aren't going to judge you..and the people who DO judge you are not worth your time at all :)everyone makes mistakes..just "LEARN" from them!Good luck and you'll have an amazing time!xx
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