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Have I lost a friend? Is there any way to fix it?

Tagged as: Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 October 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 12 October 2013)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I had a friend who was a best friend of mine. He would listen to all my life's problems, dramas, break ups, etc. He was always there to listen to me talk all sorts of headache inducing drama, and I really wish I was more mature.

Then, he asked me out and said he really wish I could just forget about the pain of my past and consider dating him. I mean, it just never crossed my mind that he had a crush on me because I never felt that way about him. I politely rejected him. One day though, I went to a house party with a bunch of my friends and I thought it would be a good idea to introduce him to my friends since he hasn't met them before. I guess I got really really drunk and got slightly horny so he took me to a friend's bedroom and we were making out and he took my clothes off butt naked and was very busy kissing me and doing all sorts of really awkward things. We didn't have sex, thank goodness.

Anyway everything felt really awkward after. I told him I really regret what happened and said I don't want to remember what happened that night and just move on. Now he just completely ignores me ever since then. It's been 4 months from now and I haven't gotten a single text message from him. Did I lose a friend? How can I get him to come back? If he truly liked me, wouldn't he stick around? What's ironic is that I have a crush on him now? I feel so cheap because he moved on so quick.

View related questions: best friend, cheap, crush, drunk, horny, kissing, move on, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2013):

I think some people stay platonic friends after a hook-up because NEITHER of them were really into each other when the event happened and both were comfortable with forgetting about it.

It sounds as if this guy was really into you and one of his reasons for maintaining his friendship with you after you turned him down was a hope that you would change your mind. When you got drunk and horny he probably thought that his lucky day had finally arrived ... and then you told him how much he regretted it

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2013):

The only reason you feel a crush is because this time he rejected you and your ego can't take it.

You don't really have a crush on him, and he really wasn't your true friend because he used the guise of a friend to ask you out. All this time he wanted you as his girlfriend.

The bottom line is that you can't be his girlfriend, so just forget about him and move on. Learn a lesson about not getting drunk enough to do stupid things that will estrange your friendships. Any kind of relation to him as this point is impossible without being awkward, so let things go.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2013):

Hi this is the OP, thanks for the answer. How do some people stay as platonic friends even after they had an accidental hookup?

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