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male
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*uapino
writes: I have just broken up with my Girlfriend of 2 yrs. I dont make a habbit of this, but she was considerably younger than me... 8 yrs juniour. I have just turned 27 and she has just turned 19. She and I were not just lovers but best friends. We love each other so deeply, we can talk about anything, trust each other completly, pick each other when we're down. She calls me her rock. I was her first love, her first sexual experience and her first serious relationship. She says she loves me more than anything, she cant imagine being without me, however, as I predicted, we want different things. Although by no means am I looking to settle down etc, I like to think of her as long term. She however has only slept with me and is naturally curious (only in the physical sense) of other guys experiences etc.She says she doesnt want to let me go, I told her that its best that we split up, let her enjoy her youth and do what she needs to do, while I set up my business at the same time. I told her maybe if we got back together in like 3 yrs or so, then maybe we could actually work, as right now as much as we love eachother, the fact is we are at different stages of our life and we want and need different things. She says she knows we are meant to be, to be honest I think the same. I am just wondering, if anyone has had similar experiences? and more importantly have I done the right thing? (I think that now we have broken up amiacably rather than wait for a messy breakup) Also I would love to think that our love can endure time, Im no idiot I have had relationships in the past, but this one we connected on every level, but am I deluding myself?I have told her that in time we can be friends, but right now I need to be apart from her to get over her a bit, and be a proper friend.
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female
reader, Jordanian  +, writes (8 June 2008):
hello,
i think that you have made a big mistake by letting her go!
it is a selfish from your side to decide something like that on your own.
it is something you have to talk about and trust eachothers oppinions...
could it be that you are so scared that she might leave you for another younger guy that made you want to end it first?!
think about it...
if you love someone you dont let them go... dont live with a broken heart, dont make her go through that either..
good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): hi,
i think you have done the right thing. i married young, at 18. now i am 28 and my husband is 40. we quarrel a lot and we have not been a happy couple. i feel that i missed a lot and have evn cheated on him.
i feel that he should have waited a littl more.
my sense of loss is so great that i have not even grown up properly.
i guess you are a fabulous person and you are doing the right thing.
let her grow up and you will never regret it. Infact it is good for you also so that you can be with a proper adult!
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A
female
reader, toggs  +, writes (2 June 2008):
 hi i think what your doing is a good unselfish thing to do its just shes to in love with you. however now your doubting your desion. do you see her in your life with her right now?or in the future. its a hard desion and i think you should have time a part to see what you really want. times a healer and if in couple of months your feeling the same then you no what to do but in a couple of months you may both realise that your not meant to be. only time can tell.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): It sounds like your both taking a gamble. You love each other, but your both not ready to make a strong committment. You both still have things that you need to do. It's a gamble and a good one at that. You are gambling that your love for one another is strong enough to wait for a couple of years, your gambling that even if you change it will make you more perfect for each other rather than less. It's a gamble. I wish you luck and hope everything works out ok.
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