A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Himy boyfriend has cheated on me once in the past,and another time it was emotional cheating. we stayed together but i was constantly checking his emails and wondering who he was with on the nights we wernt together, which was alot as we only saw each other 2 times a week maybe 3.yesterday i told him that i wanted a trial separation, i told him that i was not happy with the current situation and how i was checking up on him and it was taking over my mind every day, that i needed some time to sort myself out, we'd still text but no meeting up for a bit.He agreed saying that i had to do what i felt was right for me.At first i took him as being understanding, but looking back over the things he said ..."it wouldnt have worked anyway if your doing that""Ill be ok i have alot to keep me busy take care"i told him today i had coloured my hair he txt back and said "its a shame i wont get to see it"Has he took this as a finish? He not once tried to talk me out of it and asked if he could do anything to help me, he just went along with it and seems fine.Even though i asked for this trial, i am feeling like thats it over and even if i decided that i wanted to get back, he has no plans to.I am feeling pretty low at the moment, can anyone advise on the best course of action for me, as i do not know which way to turn.I am wanting to ring him and say i was being silly and that i do not want this after all, but then i think about his cheating and i do want it.I do not like the feeling i get thinking how he accepted it too easy, and then wonder should i go back incase he moves on and i regret it?
View related questions:
cheated on me, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2009): (original poster) well i went out, and had a couple drinks, my poor friend ended up listening to me whinging most of the night, and this morning i had a text from him saying "hi how you doing? hope your ok".
I havnt answered him although i want too, basically im back to how i was yesterday.
and no i diddnt pull, cant imagine anyone even trying with the sour face i had.
Thanks again for your replies, Uncle Phil & wife and anonymous
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): let us know if you pulled eh?
(:o)
Phil
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): (original poster again) she sounds like a great person! you know what as of now im seeing who is free tonight, gonna do just that. go out try put him out my mind, and let tomorrow deal with it. Thankyou
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): She says to arrange a night out with your friends, go to a nightclub and let your hair down, meet new people, have a ball and put this arsehole's memory in the rubbish bin where it belongs. Things are quite 'black and white' with her!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): (i am the original poster ) many thanks Uncle Phil.
I know i should do the same and move on, but im finding it hard to accept, maybe im scared of being alone suddenly i dunno, i hate the thought of him meeting someone else, i dont know how i would be to see him with another girl.
Does your wife have any good suggestions on the best way to move on?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): I had to consult my missus on this one to get a mature woman's perspective. She basically said that if she was in your position, the first time he cheated he would have been out on his arse, end of story.
Had you booted him out at that time you wouldn't be going through this emotional trauma now. He doesn't seem that bothered about this 'trial' separation and I'd guess that yes, he does see this as a finish. He probably welcomes it. Sort of 'Thanks for the good times, but they are now in the past' kind of thing.
Why would you regret it if he moves on? Can't you do the same and make him regret that he accepted this situation so readily?
...............................
|
