A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm really confused at the moment and in need of advice. Sorry it's long. I've known this guy for... less than a year. I sort of knew of him for a while before we were formally introduced. Before then, I kind of had this crush from afar on him. At that time, he was with another girl and was actually engaged. I told myself to let it go since it seemed that he'd be married soon anyways. A year and a half later, I see him again at my college. He's going there too and he isn't married. A little while later, things happen in such a way that we're suddenly more in each others daily life. I started to think, "he's like a brother to me" and I believed that for a while. I transferred to another university though, and moved to another town (50 min. away). That's when we started talking online and I really got talking with him. I told him things I've never told anyone before. Now, a few months later I'm starting to think that I've been lying to myself, thinking he was just a brother figure. Am I falling in love with him? How do I know if it isn't just a fantasy I'm falling in love with?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Daniel Olie  +, writes (8 December 2008):
There's a profound difference between infatuation and falling in love/loving someone. Seems to me like you've started to really get to know him, right? I can imagine he's entrusted you too with some very intricate things.
If so, if you would really have feelings for him, they'd probably be moreover for who he is, rather than what you think of him. Just ask yourself: how well do I know him?
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