A
male
age
30-35,
*oungandconfused
writes: I've just entered my 4th year in school and some of my best friends have pretty much ditched me but I'm still alright with the bulk of my old class. I'm finding it difficult to get a new set of friends that I fit in well with from my new class and a girl from my old class is in pretty much the same situation. I guess it was because of this that she started hanging around with me alot. We've become great friends and are very open to each other, life is good. But today several people appraoched me and asked me if we were in a relationship, if we fancied each other etc. I said no, we were just friends, really good friends but it made me think, am I just an idiot picking up on the wrong transmitions? perhaps she asked these people to ask me how I felt about her. Or maybe I feel so happy around her because I want to be going steady with her. Should ask her how she really feels and risk blowing our excellent friendship? or maybe we could still be friends..
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male
reader, youngandconfused +, writes (1 November 2007):
youngandconfused is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI dont think I'll have the problem much more. She stopped hanging around with me. It could have been everyone asking if we were going with each other that just made her fed up or maybe she found friends, or maybe in my haste to make new friends in my new class that I left my old class out of the picture, that used to upset her or maybe I'm just a weirdo, whatever the cause she doesnt seem to want to hang around with me much more but we're still friends and still talk to each other occasionally.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): ignore them. they're probably jealous. Ive experienced the exact situation. say nothing to your friend as that might create awkwardness and just carry on as before. oh and by the way, transition yr is so boring. Im irish aswell and I did it. I could be in second yr now in university but Im only in first.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (12 October 2007):
Tell her about being asked and find out what she thinks you should have said.
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A
female
reader, Titania70 +, writes (12 October 2007):
I have to assume you are a teenager and a girl. I would be very subtle by asking her how she feels about same-gender relationships first and see her reaction. It's fairly normal for close friendships' to have lesbian tendencies since you are probably experiencing a great deal of admiration and excitement in your friend's presence. That's pretty normal when we're teenagers. I surely experienced that and experimenting with this particular close friend I had in my teens but neither turned out to be lesbians in the long run. On the contrary, she has a child now with a guy she's been for over 10 years. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, clickyclick +, writes (12 October 2007):
Well if you're having trouble fitting in with a new set of friends you can always try to engage in someone elses interests and maybe you could start talking to them about it.
It's good you're thinking out all the possibilities, but the chance of you picking up the wrong transmitions is unlikely (but still possible)because a guy could be friends with loads of girls like me and still get people asking you if your in a relationship with one of them. Before you do anything like asking her how she feels wait about a week or so and see how she reacts around you take in details and see if you can pick up on anything that might hint to her likeing you as more than a friend. Don't make any rushed decisions spend your time wisely and mull the situation over. Maybe ask one of her friends or one of your friends to ask her if she feels anything for you. Remember don't rush into anything, think first.
Good Luck
Clickyclick
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