A
male
age
36-40,
*on1230
writes:Hello everyone,Im a guy of 23 and got chatting to a really great girl who is 18 via a dating site and we hit it off straight away.To keep this as short as possible.We met up and went on a couple of really fantastic dates and i felt we really hit it off.She admitted to me recently that she had only split up with her ex around a week ago and that he was violent towards her and that it has made her wary of men in general and that she felt weird at the moment.The main issues i have are that when we arranged to meet up she will say yes and then text me 1 hour before and cancel on me with some REALLY over-the top excuse and when i said to her "If your not interested then you can just tell me its ok" and she kept telling me "NOOOO I REALLY AM INTERESTED!!"With the combination of her never picking up the phone and ignoring 95% of my calls and then texting me 10 mins after saying shes shes busy at the moment,and cancelling dates at the very last minute on 3 occasions in the 1st week combined with the fact that she is adament "I do like you and i am interested!!" I just didnt know what to believe = (We shared 3 great dates in total and got very intimate and close on the 3rd date and i really thought she was starting to come out of her shell after the bad time she said she had with her ex.After that date she cancelled on me 2 days straight at the last miunte again,which just left me with the feeling of being used and messed around.So i text her and she eventually said "I cant help what i feel and i know you are nothing like my ex!! your sweet and kind,I dont think you would hurt me either but i cant do this right now,I think we should stay as friends for the moment"The way i took the message,baring in mind i may have missed bits out as i deleted the original off my phone,was that i had been too intense and too pushy and shes scared of being let down again and hurt.I think she knows im a genuine guy but i have ALWAYS been the one to visit her as she doesnt drive and its always been me arranging the dates etc.I text her back telling her how great a girl she is and i hope she finds what she is looking for and she replied again asking "friends or not?" and i told her i couldnt just be her friend because i liked her alot and if we met up again we would probably end up taking things further and im not that kinda guy who just wants a f*ck buddy"That was last around 5pm last night and its now 11.00am the next day and she hasnt been in touch.I deleted her number so i dont find temptation to contact her.What i want a opinion on isWhat should i do now?Did i act too forward considering i have only known her for just over a week?Do you think she was still meeting her ex?As when she would cancel a date or not answer the phone she would always say "call me in a hour" That seems strange
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her ex, my ex, split up, text, violent Reply to this Question
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female
reader, petina1 +, writes (9 December 2008):
 I would not bother her again. She is not treating y ou properly, for one she could have the curtesy to reply to your text. She is ignoring you for a reason, prob trying to sus out her ex and then if she can't you are there for back up. I'm sorry, but I'll bet I'm right. Try not to dwell on her, she knows where you are, just get on with your life and see what happens. hope this helps.
A
male
reader, Jon1230 +, writes (9 December 2008):
Jon1230 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I sent her a email and a text today but no response.
I guess i have been abit too forward,she is such a great girl but i know i cant blame myself.
Do you guys think thats it or should i just remain silent now for the next week?
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A
male
reader, Jon1230 +, writes (7 December 2008):
Jon1230 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell in my eye's she knows exactly how i feel and i just have to wait now and see if she does get back in touch in the near future,she would be worth the wait 100% but i think i did the right thing by cutting contact because i dont want to end up as just a casual thing and with all the being messed about i think i have done the right thing by giving her space now to think.Do you agree?Thanks again,means alotJon
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A
male
reader, Jon1230 +, writes (7 December 2008):
Jon1230 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for such quick response's
Well in my eye's she knows exactly how i feel and i just have to wait now and see if she does get back in touch in the near future,she would be worth the wait 100% but i think i did the right thing by cutting contact because i dont want to end up as just a casual thing and with all the being messed about i think i have done the right thing by giving her space now to think.
Do you agree?
Thanks again,means alot
Jon
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (7 December 2008):
Im sorry but this sounds like her ex is probably making contact in the inbetween times she is dealing with you. Its only been a short time since they split. She has unfinished business by the sounds of it. Let her sort her life out and then make contact with you when she has the time. hope this helps.
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