A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 24 years old and I struggle to act interested in guys.I have friends who are so full on with guys and scare them away that i try my best not to be like this and act uninterested usually. I work with a guy I really like who is professional but shown some kind of interest in liking me but i am not sure. we had very good banter and usually he took the mick out on me, on day to day things, and vice versa. we got in a chat one day on lunch as he was talking to a mutual friend about his ex and i said ''thats why i dont bother with relationships unless its really worth it''. he asked if i was single at this point in which i said yes and have being for while, he said he thought i was taken, to which i said, 'not for over a year and a half now', but i thought this was a strange comment from him, as i have never mentioned anyone i have being seeing even casually at work. I am quite sure i got the odd smile too which was more than just a friendly smile. i requested him on facebook on his last day as he doesnt normally work in our area and he accepted strait away and gave me some friendly banter saying ''ive only being gone an hour are you missing me already'' in which i said i was being friendly and to get over himself (my usual unflirty but funny self). A week went by with general conversation only going by but it soon died down. as i thought he was a good guy i sent him a valentines card, just a casual funny one that said ''whats seven inches, goes hard when you hold it and can stand up on its own'' in which it said ''this card of course'' inside, i put to (his name) noticed you around wish you were my valentine from ??. he then updated his status to 'does anyone else dislike hidden valentines' in which i liked the day after and sent him a message how his weekend is going, again the convo didnt go very far as to how his weekend was going and asking how mine was.My friend suggested i told him i sent the card instead of being so unforward so i sent another message asking if he liked my choice in valentines cards, he said he thought it was from me and asked how i knew he was going to be at the that store as normally he worked in one just outside of that place, i didnt know this and presumed he always worked at that store. So i said because that's where you always work isnt it?, he said no, and he just happened to be covering lunchs that day, me obviously he thought i had tracked him down laughed it off and said only that would happen to me.i always thought he worked there, he said the card was funny but changed the subject quite quickly... i asked how many other cards he got (he is single by the way) and he said just mine and asked me how many i got, i tryied to act confident and said a sackful and i was nearly late for work and his must of got lost in the post, it broke the ice a bit and he said yeah that must be what happened and laughed, i said i hope he got proof of posting, i havent heard anything since and to be honest i feel i have laid my feelings on the line for him to take if he really wanted to? have i acted too much too soon on this situtation? and if this had being you would you have being worried about my behaviour towards him? of course i have to work with him again one day and i dont want things to be arkward. he called my store today to get some labels sent to his store and i didnt answer the phone but he could of ordered these himself or asked another nearby store, the fact he is ringing our store after is suggested i havent completely freaked him out but do you think theres any chance in his suggestions? or do i just need to drop it?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 February 2014):
 I agree more or less with the other poster . Insofar, you made your move, do not insisit, now it's his turn, if he does not do anything... he just likes you as a flirt-and-banter buddy.
Things are seldom either black or white, it sounds to me like he sorts of likes you, but people can like you, i.e. think that you are attractive and fun and other good qualities, yet still not want to date you. He said he does not bother with relationships unless he chances into something really worthy- and if he thinks you are really worthy, it's up to him to follow through now that you have broken ice.
I think, as always, it's a matter of balance. A middle course between trhowing yourselves at guys and scaring them off, and acting like an Ice Queen, all jaded and uninterested.
In my personal opinion, maybe you have gone a tiny little bit overboard, with the secret Valentine, and one with clear sexual overtones- a bit heavy handed , in my view. Seduction is subtler. Yet, not terribly heavy handed- let's say flatteringly eager, I don't think he was freaked out or scared off . Just, you cannot be sure that only because he likes to smile at you or joke with you on the job, he is willing to take it any furher outside the job. So, as frustrating as it is, I guess you'll just have to wait and see if he makes his move.
A
male
reader, devont +, writes (22 February 2014):
 You have put yourself out there and now it is his turn to make a move. Don't try and go after him again, he knows you like him so now it is down to him.
If it was me I would have been flattered and not at all freaked out. But if I liked you back I would definitely have made a move by now.
I don't think you have crossed any lines nor acted inappropriately, but it is now definitely his turn to go after you if he wants you, you have made your feelings clear.
If he doesn't make a move, forget him and move on, but remain civil because of work.
All the best.
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