A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have feelings for a coworker that I shouldn't be having. We talk and flirt all the time, it's all innocent. We are definitely interested in eachother but he has a girlfriend and I will NOT come between that and he won't do anything either. So do I stop being 'at work friends' with him? I really like him, he is the first person since the break up of my marriage 7 months ago, that I feel like I could talk to and want to spend time with. I don't know what to do. I'd hate to lose him as a friend but I guess I know we will never actually be friends seeing as how I'm sure his girlfriend would have an issue with it. I know he loves his girlfriend, but I love our conversations. I need to stop talking to him don't I? What do I do?
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female
reader, miss Lost  +, writes (2 July 2010):
I have to agree! You have to turn the situation around, if you were in a committed relationship, would you want your boyfriend to pursue friendships with the opposite sex at his job and possibly have feelings for her?
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (2 July 2010):
 What do you do? You recognize that he does have a girlfriend and is therefore not available to form a relationship with you.
You say you will not come between the two of them, but it sounds to me as if deep down you'd like there to be more than mere friendship. You can test your sincerity about wanting to be "just friends" by contemplating inviting them to have lunch with you.
Think about it: could you truthfully have lunch and make her feel welcome, then go home feeling at peace? If not, you would do well to drop all thought of "being friends" with this man - UNLESS he and his gf break up. Then, should that happen you and he would be free to pursue a friendship, assuming you both wish to......
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2010): You can't be friends with someone that you want more from, you are just setting yourself up for hurt.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2010): If you are developing feelings then it is best for yourself to just stop talking too him. BUT if you can steer away from feelings then why not continue talking? if he makes the move then he's the ass and not you.
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