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age
36-40,
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writes: Hi All,I'm 22 and about 3 months ago split with my long term boyfriend whom was my first real love and we had been together for 2 and a half years. we both agree that whilst it was good things did go stale and lifeless and it was meant to end (he did hint at getting back with me to which I said no).Since then a colleague asked me back to his town for drinks on a work night out with a female colleague who also lives in the same town (15 min train journey). I said no as we were drunk but suggested that we go on a date the next weekend as I did fancy the pants off him and had since I first laid eyes on him - we had been flirting for a while now and i knew he fancied me!!He said yes and took me on a lovely surprise date picked me up and took me to dinner and kissed me at the end of the evening. The next date we went out to the pub and for dinner and the next we went out again all the while with lots of texting in between.He also split from a longterm relationship about 5 months ago, the 4th date i went round to his place and he cooked me dinner, before i walked into his flat he warned me that there were still some pictures up that he hadn't had a chance to take down yet. I was shocked to see at least ten pictures of his ex everywhere!!! EVERYWHERE. i let it go as he had warned me and things whilst watching a movie got pretty steamy (everything but sex as i was on my period. I ended up staying round for a second evening and we spent all day together just lazing around.after this i said does this mean we're now seeing each other and he said yes it does from here it all kinda went down hill i got hardly any messages and he only replied to what i sent.he also started mentioning his ex alot after i had asked if he was over her and saying he would always have feelings for her and he was being honest. at times i felt like he was completely ignoring me!! he came back just saying that he was rubbish at replying to messages or he had left his phone somewhere etc etc.we met up again the next weekend after saying how he really liked me and thought we got on well. we had sex and i stayed over - the next morning he made an excuse as to why he had to go out and that i had to leave. after i left the texts more than halved again during the week and it came to xmas eve where i saw him briefly around at his flat and we exchanged gifts we had sex again and twenty minutes later i felt like i was being thrown out again as he had to go round to his mums.after that he text me once on xmas day (a generic happy xmas) then a few days later i called him and said hey whats going on, nice xmas? he told me about his favorite present and when i asked him who got it for him it was his ex - am i the only person who thinks its weird to get a present from you ex? i certainly wouldnt accept one from mine!!after the phonecall i sent a nice but honest text saying that i had to be honest and that it really bothered me that his fave present was from his ex and that he still had pictures of her up everywhere and that i felt he had ignored me over xmas and not replied to any of my messages. his reply was maybe he needed to have a think about why the pictures are still up - not the oh gosh your right i'll take them down and put them in a photo album response i was hoping for!? he said perhaps his next step was to get a reason for why his ex left him and that he had feelings for her still etc etc!!when i say he ignored me, we work in the same office (diff floors thank god) and i just about got hellos. i had it out via text about a week later and i said basically he could either look to the future or stay stuck on the past and he said he wanted to look the future. he took me to a party New Years eve and i got too drunk and rather than stay at his like planned he drove me straight home were i then puked all over his car :S he laughed about it the next day and told me not to worry after i called him (i also managed to clean it whilst drunk).i stayed round his the other night on a work night the evening went well i gave him sex and a bj and we arranged getting to work the next day, i got the train times ready and he told me that he leaves around 8am (i assumed he would ride his motorbike into work) the next morning it got to eight and i said "im ready when you are" to which he walked me to the door i said "oh you gonna sort out all your bike gear?" whilst walking through the freshold and he said looking down "i'm actually getting a lift with [my ex]" I said "what, you're getting a lift?" and he said "yeah but you have to get the train" I replied "no, i don't have to get the train!" and he said "yes you do because there's not enough room!!!" a neighbour kinda interuppted and he said well i'll see you later and i said bye. ([His ex] is a really nice mutual friend and colleague who i know would have insisted on also giving me a lift and confirmed later that day that A he had not mentioned to her i had stayed and B that there certainly was enough room).I have not heard from him since and have not texted him either (stayed at his wednesday night and its now early hours monday) I just want to call him lots of rude names and really make him see what he is now missing and that he was VERY rude to treat me like that. it has become plainly obvious to me that he just gave me enough to keep me dangling around and to use me for sex. after all looking back the first time i refused him and offered up a date instead -he was basically inviting me back to his flat.i've never been made to feel insecure before and like i wasn't good enough I consider myself quite good looking and a good catch. How can I get even???!!! I certainly won't be going back to him - i feel foolish for falling for it (but then i have been lonely after splitting with my ex). Hours of waiting around for him to reply and being hot and cold (particularly frosty kiss and hugs wise unless it was leading to sex) - I just want some respect!! What can i do?? i have been ignoring him but its not satisfying enough!He has made me so angry - now i feel like i was just a dirty secret...I so desperately want to have the last laugh.
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drunk, flirt, his ex, insecure, my ex, neighbour, period, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, PunkyPippi  +, writes (22 January 2009):
 Uh... Revenge is not a good idea. I think he was confused. It doesn't sound like he used you on purpose. I would just let it drop and move on. If you try to go the revenge route, you'll just look bitter and pathetic.
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