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Have any men out there had affairs but still truly loved their partners?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 March 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 March 2010)
A female Afghanistan age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I was wondering, are there any guys out there reading this that have had affairs behind their partners back, but they truly loved their partner? I just found an amazing article online that says that many men have affairs because they're troubled within themselves and searching for an emotional connection, or it can be that they feel they've failed their partner because of their career problems, emotional problems, insecurities.. and another women creates a temporary escape.

All thoughts welcome AND I'm ready to hear the cold hard truth from these men themselves, I don't care if it makes me cry. Thanks guys.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010):

Yes. You can be quite in love, but still vulnerable if your needs aren't being met.

My wife and I didn't handle the transition to parenting all that well. I felt I'd dropped from #1 on her list of priorities to somewhere down off the chart. Her energy was focussed on the kids, and whatever was left went to her career. Our sex life vanished. So I was very vulnerable when someone else came along who seemed to have the time and interest.

Part of the issue, too, is the transition from the excitement of the new relationship to the security of the long-term. This happened maybe 10 years into our relationship, when I'd forgotten what passion was. I'd forgotten what it was like to feel completely alive, with every nerve tingling, to wake up in the morning thrilled to see what the day would bring.

My vows kept me from going over the top, and my love and respect for my wife brought me back before I was too far gone.

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A male reader, baddogbj China +, writes (1 March 2010):

baddogbj agony auntYes.

I love my wife deeply but I still cheat on her. Yes there is some truth in the temporary escape theory but mostly it is just old fashioned selfishness and self indulgence.

I don't believe that the good people of Dear Cupid want to see me indulge myself by writing more about my own situation. I'd be happy to respond in more detail by Private Message.

Baddog

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