A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My partner and I split up in February. We didn't live together or anything but we had been seeing each other for just over 4 years when we split. Things hadn't been good for around 6 months before the split and I felt we were at different points in our lives. We got together quite soon after my marriage ended and I'm not sure now whether that was a good thing or not.Anyway, he kept texting me after the split and desperately wanted to give our relationship another go so at the beginning of September we started seeing each other again. BUT:. Things aren't the same between us as they once were - we don't chat the same - I'm just not happy. I'm not really that bothered whether I spend time with him. I'm not physically attracted to him anymore after the time apartHe's 7 years older than me and I think he is happy to 'have someone' rather than no one but I feel too young to feel like this. Will the feelings I need return with time or has this relationship reached the end of the road? He said to me the other week that if anything happens again with us and we split up for good, that he would hope that 'someone else would come along in the near future' - this also makes me think that he's happy to have 'someone' and that's not necessarily me - it was just easier to try again with me than start from scratch with someone else.Has anyone else been in the same situation? Thanks.
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male
reader, dc.ryan +, writes (27 December 2007):
 Then follow your heart, and do whats best to make yourself happy and open new opportunities for you in life. It sounds like you are truly not interested in him anymore, and its time to move on.Ryan
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi Ryan - thanks for your advice. I told him how I felt a few weeks ago and said that I wasn't happy and that things just weren't how they once were before our time apart. He just thinks we need time to those feelings to return but I'm really not sure. We also have so different outlooks on life that became more apparent during our split. I just don't think that time will help anymore.
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A
female
reader, Lucky17  +, writes (27 December 2007):
I don't know but I am in the same situation except I am not sure how I feel. I know I still love him but I am not so sure about how he feels. I think if I felt like you do it would make it alot easier for me. I personally would just do like Ryan said and tell him how you feel. I mean if you don't have anything for him anymore then move on. I hope I come to that point soon.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2007): You are being honest with yourself and this is the hardest thing to do often. You don't want to hurt him and that is because you are a kind and considerate human being. The thing is you will be kinder to let him go because you want different things and I think it is time to allow that to happen for both of you by what you describe. Explain to him you feel this way and things will become easier as you make the first step. By staying friends and being kind under the difficult circumstances, if you can, will ensure neither of you feel the terrible grief associated with sudden loss. I hope you find renewed love and happiness in 2008.
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A
male
reader, dc.ryan +, writes (27 December 2007):
I think in situations like this is, you need to follow your heart - do what your feelings are telling you.
From what you've described, you obviously don't have much there in your heart for him anymore and prolonging the relationship for an extra couple of months will only make it harder you to break up with him, and cause more heartache for him!
I think its important you discuss your feelings with him, and say that you haven't been happy and think its best you stuck as close friends rather than partners.
Follow your heart, try not to worry - give him support if he needs it.. retain your friendship, as friendship is a wondeful thing - there are plenty of other guys/gals out there for you and him.
Ryan
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