A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this lovely guy online and we began talking (this was about 6months ago). Anyway, we lost contact and about three weeks ago we started talking again.We went for a drink, and spent hours talking. It was great. He texted me the next day to say thanks for a a lovely night.A few days later, we went to the cinema and had a lovely time, nice film, nice company, went for a drink afterwards in a nice bar. Then he came back to to my house, snuggled up in front of the tv. We had one kiss with tounges and left. He texted me again to say thanks for a lovely night out.Then he texted me to say he wasn't feeling well, throat infection etc. I gave my advice (I'm a nurse) and he said he was feeling better. He barely spoke to me that week.Then last week, we had arranged to go out, but he still wasn't well, so he came round here. One thing led to another and we had sex. It was wasn’t dirty hardcore sex, it was passionate kissing sex. Then he left my house at 3am, and texted me to say he had a lovely time.We met on Thursday (Feb. 10th) went for a drink. We were flirting, kissing, and laughing in the bar. We came back to my place, as I wasn’t feeling well (had the flu), so he tucked me up in bed and kissed my head and stayed there till I slept. He left me a note asking me to go out with him Monday (Valentine’s Day).I texted him Friday to say ok about Monday. He didn’t speak to me all of Friday night.Saturday he texted me saying he couldn’t make it on Monday. No sorry, no excuse, just that he couldn’t make it.Sunday I asked him how he was. All he replied was, “poorly”, a one word text message.Then today, I said to him "Happy Valentine’s Day", and he said nothing!!What are your thoughts about this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2011): It looks like having sex too soon blurred your judgement about him and relationships in general. You slept with him too soon and before you had a chance to really assimilate whether he was relationship material and now you are trying to hang in there as a justification for sleeping with him in the first place. Looks like you slept with the guy thinking that it was the start of something real, when in fact it was the end of something that had never really started for the guy. He most likely knew from the outset that he had no intentions of having a relationship or that you weren't a possibility for a relationship, but he allowed you to think that so he could use you for a leisurely shag when it suits. Guys have conflicting instincts: On one hand they want you to be rampant and have sex, and on the other hand, they want a good girl that has almost virginal qualities. The conflict makes him automatically uninterested in girls that in his eyes make it easy for him like you did. When he comes back for more despite disappearing, don't for a second buy into the misconception that he finds it difficult to resist you sexually, which will then place SEX at the centre of your relationship and cement your role as f*ck buddy on call. That creates a false emotional tie for you, and you'll connect the fact that you enjoy the sex so much and that he keeps returning with the fact that he must be The One. It's a booby trap naive girls with low self esteem walk into blindfolded, thinking they can hook a guy in to a relationship through casual sex.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2011): Sorry, I hope I'm wrong, but I agree with anonymous. It looks like you may have been used. For all you know, he may be in a relationship. He was online, what were you expecting?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2011): You mighyt not like this BUt
He enjoyed the short chase-he had what he was after now there is nothing to look forward to-so without being unkind seems as if he wanted sex got it then was off
Of course I might be wrong
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