A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So me and my ex have been broken up for about 3 months now. We broke up because she didn't like my lifestyle at the time. You can say that I got into the mix with the "wrong crowd". Since the break up, I've totally cut ties with those people, and started to hangout with some new friends that I met. I started to focus on my future and even registered for college again. Over the 3 months, she realized that I changed and she fell back in love with me. We started to officially date about 2 weeks ago. Just the other day, she told me that we should spend some time apart because when she looks at me, sometimes the past comes up and she gets mad. She said that she still in love with me, but she needs more time to forget about the past. What should I do? Does it sound promising?
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male
reader, TimmD +, writes (13 April 2010):
 Depends on how bad your past really was, and how much you love her. If your past hurt her enough, then I can see her needing some time to make things work.
If she's that important to you then give her some space, but let her know you are doing your best to change FOR her, but you can't do it without her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): I think you need to give her some time. If she wants some alone time, away from you then perhaps you should set some boundaries (eg, not dating otehr peope, always keeping in contact etc) and then have some time apart.
You have not gone into a lot of detail about your past but if it was something that was traumatic for her such as seeing you addicted to drugs or alcohol then its understandable that she is finding it quite difficult to let go of the past, especially if she has had some bad experiences with you.
Best to give her the time, keep working on yourself and continue to show her that you really have changed.
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A
female
reader, rambini  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 not really no, you have done the changing part, and if she wanted to get back together with you then she needed to do so by giving you a clean slate which she hasnt done as she is still judging you by the past. so i dont think it sounds very promising as she is not going to magically forget the past, whether you wait another 3 months, 6 months or 6 years.
im sorry if that isnt what you wanted to hear, but the important thing is that you have got your own life sorted now so you can go on and become everything you wanted to be, and meet a girl who loves you for that. best of luck
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