A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Are all young men fascinated by porn? After 20 years of marriage to my first and only sex partner, I got divorced and decided to live a little and see much younger men. In the bedroom, they all seem to want to live out their porn fantasies. They are either preoccupied with oral sex or want to ejaculate all over my body. Has porn really become so prevalent that it has shaped the sexuality of people today?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): "Has porn really become so prevalent that it has shaped the sexuality of people today?"I would have to say yes to this, without a doubt. The Internet has allowed boys who are only just entering puberty, often at their most vulnerable age, to see the most explicit material there is possible, to see images they otherwise probably couldn't have ever imagined up, and it makes logical sense (to me) that they then expect, or at the very least, to want to act out what they see out when they start to become sexually active. This might be perfectly harmless for some women, but there certainly seems to be even more pressure for vulnerable women to feel they have to become equally pornographic, as if it were a natural part of sex.I don't think anyone could really see how the Internet was going to affect society but issues including pornography I think will one day be much more heavily regulated, but it will take a long time for the government to catch up with the damaging effects of pornography on society and for there to be a public will for things to change. I don't think porn is altogether bad; I know it can work mutually for some couples, but I think on the whole it damages relationships and further distorts sex for men in a world where already they are unsure of what is expected of them and what the role of a woman actually is. I think porn is more similar and should be likened to a drug, people need to know that there can be deeper consequences to being exposed to it but that when used sensibly, by consenting adults, it can have a place in society.It's certainly a contentious issue; and one that won't go away, that in itself, I think, demonstrates that there must be some kind of problem with it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): Thanks for all the replies to my question. I had a feeling the guys would defend their porn viewing, while the ladies would better understand what I was trying to say. I just wonder how these men will ever have a healthy relationship when intimacy and romance.....even foreplay aren't part of their repetoire in the bedroom. It just seems that their entire attitude about sex has been shaped by porn.
That's not to say that everything you see depicted in porn is evil or immoral. It's fine to work in some different or unusual things into your sex life. Variety is good but when "wham-bam-thankyou-maam" followed by a cumshot to the face is all you know, something is wrong. I didn't realize how widespread the problem was until I started dating again and reading sites like this. The number of wives who have husbands more interested in porn than a live partner is astounding. I can't help but think society is paying a price here.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): wizardofwaz, you give some bad advice. If you research porn addiction on the internet you will find real men seeking help because their sexuality was hijacked by porn, no religious zealot has a gun to their head, they are just desperate souls who wish to have a real relationship rather than a psuedo one with porn. Since you are such an ignorant person on this subject, I will have to assume you are on this path of destruction yourself and will one day find it impossible to perform without your beloved porn, unfortunately for you, you won't believe this is possible until it happens to you.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (24 September 2008):
 Yes, absolutely, as plain as day. And I'm a guy saying this. Monkey see, monkey do, and humans are the same.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008): Haha isn't it funny how all the blokes say no and just about all the women say yes. Maybe they just don't realize how it's affected them. Maybe porn doesn't create certain fantasies but it certainly normalizes them. Anal sex is a huge example, so are things like jizzing on a woman's face- things that men wouldn't feel comfortable asking for on the first date are now practically expected. So I'd say it shapes a man's expectations of what a woman will be willing to do in bed, as well it shapes what he wants physically from a woman (shaved pussy being a good example of this- in the 70s it was all about a natural bush, nowadays if you don't have it shaved off like you haven't hit puberty, you're going to be rejected by young men who have had their expectations shaped by porn). I've experienced this in all but one of my relationships with men (all of which but one were around 18-25). Perhaps porn's influence is subtle enough that most men don't even realize it's happening.As for the fantasy of a young man, I don't think this is porn related so much as it's just simply biological. Older guys can't perform quite the same way as a young guy can! This isn't something you need to watch porn to learn! A quick roll in the sack with a 20 year old followed by a roll in the sack with a 40+ year old will teach you this! Haha.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy +, writes (24 September 2008):
 Indeed, and exactly what shaped you desire to have sex with much younger men?
You acuse them of wanting to live out their fantasies, fantasies that have been around for far longer then porn, while you are living out your own fantasy with them.
MILF, look it up, it is the porn genre you are into.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008): Honestly as a 21 year old female I have definitely feel it plays a role in shaping the desires of some men. If we humans weren't so easily moulded then how on earth do you explain the consumer driven society we have turned into?!
Most men expect a shaved pussy, most females will have been propositioned for anal sex, I'm not even going to get into the number of other things my boyfriend has asked me to do that are straight out of the porn movies he spent his formative years watching.
Sure we all say we know porn isn't a reflection of the real thing but how many of the stereotypes do we conform to?
I am sure I am a million times less experienced than many aunts and uncles in matters of sex, but I am right smack bam in the middle of the first generation that has had pornography so readily available and it has been very evident in my sexual encounters.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008): Yes, I am saddened by what porn's influences is doing to people. It is a proven fact that porn desensitizes people so they seek out different material. This leds people into areas of material that they would have shunned previously. I am scared to find out where porn will go next. Urination and bestiality were fantasies of very few men before the internet......I never had anyone ask me for anal sex before and yet younger men seem to almost expect it nowadays......these are definately porn shaped desires. But what I find more sad than anything is when people become addicted to their solo experience and prefer it over a real person.......just read on this board for a week and you will get an idea of how rampant this problem is becoming.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008): Not really. Men no more like looking at naked women and have assorted sexual fantasies then they always have.
The difference is, it's much more acceptable and far easier to achieve these things today then it has been in the past. And Porn is simply a device that enables all of these things in a quick, McDonalds-like package.
So in a way, Porn has shaped sex. It has made it easier to access these fantasies, easier to find fantasies to form that we might never have seen before.
Be this as it may, Porn is nothing to fear... so long as it does not interfere in a realtionship. It is only an issue when it becomes a substitute for one.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008): In short: yes.
No question about it! Just about every young person sees it, and most watch porn before they ever get to the bedroom themselves, so it's where they get their main ideas about sex, what's sexy, what's a turn on, etc. When you're seeing this stuff at age 10-14, you don't really have anything else to go by so that's what you learn from and where you discover your sexual fantasies! It's a shame really because it's dulled our imaginations, we only want to act out what we see on the web, we don't have any ideas of our own... Hmm...
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