A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have just returned to the UK after spending 3 months in Greece. While i was there I met an Albanian man - who although i didnt get to know very well, really fancied. We got on very well, but the language barrier was difficult and then time ran out and nothing more than kissing happened. So, we have been texting for about 2 weeks - and hes told me he has feelings for me etc etc, i know what some people might think.. but thats not the question! I was planning to go and see him in a few weeks time -so it wouldnt be long distance and he has no interest in getting a visa to come to england. Im not holding out for anything serious, just enjoying spending time with him. Anyway, basically, the texts we've been sending each other in a mix of Albanian and English have been sweet and cute, with a bit of flirting. So, last night I wanted to send him a sweet text in Albanian, so asked a friend to translate something along the lines of "I've been thinking about you..". He did this for me and I sent it. Only then did he say "please tell me you didnt send that..?" and i found out it was a fake translation. It was actually a vulgar sexual message - i was horrified. Before I could text and explain myself, he replied to the message.. sort of going along with what i said!!!! Our relationship is not really at the stage of sex, and I didnt want to send dirty texts in albanian and so i told him it was a mistake and apologised. Now he's ignoring me. I dont know if its because he's embarrassed or what i should do. I cant call him as he is embarrassed to speak english on the phone.. hes quite a sensitive guy. I've sent 2 texts and had no replies. Before he text me a lot, telling me how much he misses me etc etc, now he's suddenly gone silent. Can anyone hazard a guess as to whats going on here? Im gutted that i might have hurt him.. :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (2 August 2008):
 im sure he is embarrassed as now, it looks as if you have shot him down when he responded to those "dirty" texts. the poor guy obviously got excited and this got blown to pieces when you said otherwise. you need to understand this - it may even feel like a rejection of sorts. you dont know his culture also, and this may have something to do with his cold treatment. your friend should never have done that knowing you were trusting him/her for communication with someone you like.
i think that you should send another text to this guy, explaining again wat happened, and then saying that you just didnt want him to think you were moving too fast. but just be prepared for no response as this guy's ego is probably very bruised.
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