A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am not sure if this belongs here but I will ask it anyway.My question might be wishful thinking on my part but I do feel strongly what has happened since I lost my dad in Novermber.Dad and I were really close he knew me better then anyone and knew my short comings with women and dating. I have remained single my whole life and have pretty much given up on ever meeting anyone.Dad and I had nicknames he would always call me ***** and I would call him the same. Through the years many people actually thought this was our real names especially my dads.Anyway I have fallen for this young lady with kids and I told myself I would never date a woman with kids nor would I even consider getting serious with a lady with kids for the simple reasons of the challenges involved with having step kids etc. and having the experience of dating a woman with kids years ago. I have found myself totally taken by this lady and just recently found out her last name which happens to be both my dads and my nicknames and this name is uncommon.I feel my dad is bringing this lady and I together or something is definitely stirring the air or I am just wishful thinking but if so how is that I have this strong unbelievable attraction toward this lady a feeling I have NEVER FELT BEFORE? It's like she fell from heaven or something.Can someone sort this out and make sense of this is it just chance this lady so happens to have the last name of my dad and my nickname which is uncommon? Or am I just still grieving and need to step back?I don't really know at this point if this attraction is mutual but she does show interest. Thanks for any input or experiences you have had after a love one has passed away and you hooked up with someone you feel they brought into your life.I hope I don't sound crazy. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks C. Grant that was a really good response and sincere and I appreciate your insight I am truly gratefully.
I will move slowly and see how things go.
A
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reader, C. Grant  +, writes (3 March 2010):
 I'm very sorry for your loss. I was very close to my father, too, and the months of his illness, and then his death, were the toughest time in my life so far.
I think you're wise to tread carefully, being aware as you are that your emotional health is understandably fragile just now. When we lose someone we're so close to, we tend to look around for signs, and they're easier to see when we're so open to them.
It's great that you've found someone you're attracted to. While I share your misgivings about blending families and raising someone else's children, it can work and has worked lots of times. Be clear on your and her expectations through intense, open communication, and you should be able to make a go of it.
That's way down the road, of course, since you're not yet sure if she reciprocates the feeling. Take the next steps, but NOT if you're thinking your father's spirit is guiding you. If it works out in the end, great, you can give him the credit. But for now you need to think clearly and sensibly. Move slowly and cautiously, but be ready to open you heart to her if she seems receptive.
Good luck, with both the healing and the girl.
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