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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi everyone (:My boyfriend and I are dating since two months and a half, I know it's not a long time, but it has been a lot since I had a "serious" relarionship. I am not the kind of girl that wants her boyfriend to call her every time, or text her the "goodnight" message, but I do believe that my boyfriend is not interested in me anymore. I mean, the first month he was always planning dates, he took me out every week, he texted me at 9 o'clock in the morning and stopped to at midnight. Now, I am lucky if I hear from him at 7 PM, he always hangs out with his friends, and we hang out only if I push him to do it, he never says anything cute to me. Also, there are days in which we do not even hear from each other, if I do not write him. So, my question is: is he still interested? I mean, he's so romantic with me when we are together...the problem is that we hardly are! I don't know what to do, I want to talk to him, but I am so scared! Two months mean nothing, what if he breaks up with me? I do really like him...Sorry for my English (I'm Italian) and thanks for the help :)
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (22 February 2013):
 Sageoldguy (as usual) makes a great point I missed....
if you have had sex and then he got distant... well then that's the answer... if you have not had sex then my answer that he's not that into you stands.
A
female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX  +, writes (21 February 2013):
 This sounds like the same problem i had with my ex. I was always the first to contact and he never bothered unless i made the initiative. But when we were together it was ok. Tell him you want him to make more of an effort, and if he doesn't then it may be worth looking for someone else.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (21 February 2013):
 The key to your submittal is certainly the question of whether or not you and he have shared intimacies (had
$-x). IF you did.... then his behaviour is perfectly predictable.... and you are experiencing the disinterest that guys exhibit once they have bedded a girl.....
IF you didn't.... then the more benign "he's not that in to you" applies.... and you need to decide if you are going to wait by the phone and hope he falls in love with you. (Hint: NOT very likely.....)
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, wonderbread +, writes (21 February 2013):
Your English is fine, never would have guessed you were Italian :)Confront him about the issue. I can't say he's not interested or is, because men are different and sometimes infuriating creatures.My hubby was very smilar and if I didn't initate I don't know when we would have seen each other.It bothered me soooooo bad, and honestly I got angry. Later on (and I mean like 4 months in) I did confront him about it because I felt like he really didn't care about me. I was hurt and felt like I was the one who liked him, and he kept me around because I was an amazing kisser!When confronting him, he told me that he did like me, and wanted to spend time with me but he didn't want to spend too much time because "familiarity breeds contempt."We pretty much had to talk about how this made us feel and the whole sha-bang. So what I would do in your case is confront him about your feelings and thoughts. Remember to be concise and only talk about this issue, and best of luck to you!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2013): Yeah it sounds like he may have lost interest...Did you two sleep together? Men are weird. Sometimes when they get to the sex in what in their minds is "too quickly" or "easily" they're interest fizzles out. It seems like he wants to break up with you and instead of coming straight out and telling you instead he is just avoiding you and hoping you'll get the hint and just go away. Ugh. He doesn't want to be the jerk so he probably wants you to do the dirty work and break up with him.Be the bigger person and tell him that you noticed he is distant and if he changed his mind that it's cool with you. And just let it be over for your own closure. You can't force him to be with you, you know?And lesson learned. Try to be more selective next time and read between the lines better before you get swept away by someone whose intentions with you are no good. Better luck next time. Keep your chin up.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 February 2013):
if he's not rowing the relationship boat and just coasting along with you making the plans, then I'd say he's not as into you as you are into him.
Stop calling him and making the plans and see what happens.
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