A
female
age
41-50,
*licia
writes:my boyfriend and I have been together for nine years. it is a long distance relationship but we have managed to make it work. recently he had to go to another country to visit his family. he told me how long he would be there for and when he is leaving. and he told me he would send me a message when he gets there. before he left I asked how long the trip was and he was offended by the question because he misunderstood it.I told him that I was asking how long the trip is and not when he will be back. we haven't spoken to eachother since. he didn't send me a message when he got there and hasn't contacted me since. has he left me??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 July 2014):
 I'm sorry OP but ANY relationship that is LDR for longer than 2-3 years and the partners are not married and apart for work reasons only (deployment) seems to me to be NOT much of a relationship.
THE GOAL of an LDR is to NOT be LDR.... since after 9 years at your age, there is no indication of ending the distance I would think the relationship was just a place holder for one or both of you to avoid life in the "real world"
his getting OFFENDED by the question (a perfectly rational one) seems to me to be his way of getting out of this pretend relationship.
I would consider it over and move on.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2014): You've been together 9 years, how often has he visited his family in those years? Why are you worried? why would he leave you? I think you should be patient and don't just jump to conclusions.
You don't say in your posting how long it's been since he left to the other country. If he has just left to visit his family and he hasn't seen them in years, maybe he's busy,you will have to wait until he contacts you !!
All the best and good luck to you. All will be well.
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