A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year and we have not had sex and I can count on one hand the number of times I have had success in giving him a hand job. When I try to give him oral sex he prefers me to just use my hand. I find that this is destroying the confidence I had taken so long to build and am constantly questioning what he is doing with me, whether he fancies me. I am getting really jealous and do not like what I am becoming. He does not make the effort to touch me except when I instigate and I am a fairly physical and sexual person. He says that it hurts sometimes and has been to see doctors and a specialist. He is not circumcised and do not know whether pain can come and go if the foreskin being too tight is the problem or whether this would cause a problem every time. Circumcision is a possible answer but obviously not the easiest-something I have read about. I look nothing like the women that he tends to fancy and wonder whether this is it. I am not the most stunning individual but had been coming to terms with my looks prior to this. He is sensitive and tends to keep a lot of things to himself and worries a lot. This has caused after some time, many problems between us which in turn does not help. We get on so well in every other context and I think we both really want to make this relationship work as everything else seems so great when we ignore the physical aspect but then I get frustrated. Initially I was very understanding and supportive and although I am do not show it in the bedroom I am getting depressed and frustrated and this is building up into disagreements. This is destroying us individually and within the relationship. He has mentioned us being together for a long time and about him not being able to give me everything I want and have the satisfying physical relationship that I crave with the man I love.I suppose I would like any advice from men and women who have experienced a similar problem in their relationship.Many thanks for your time.
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confidence, depressed, foreskin, hand-job, jealous, oral sex, too tight Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (30 December 2008):
are you sure that he is not a virgin? maybe it;s a confidence thing, nervous of sex?
tight foreskins can cause problems. also maybe his past sexual partner (if he had sex) did not get wet enough, so it could have caused friction and been painful for him and probably her. maybe it put him off. all you can do is talk to him about it and go back to see a specialist.
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