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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: This is just a general question for anyone who has been in a long relationship. Has anyone out there been dumped by their first love because that person needed to sort out their feelings, and then had that person realize their mistake later and come back? And if so, is the best way to ensure a guy will come back to you is by not contacting him at all, the whole he will realize what he has as soon as he thinks he cant have it anymore type thing? Any comments would really help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Lizzybeth01  +, writes (19 December 2008):
 These situations always work out differently. It depends on the situation and the people involved. My first love and I dated for four years and he broke up with me. I was completely devastated (couldn't eat, couldn't go out and have fun, I couldn't do anything)...I decided that the only way I would ever get over him was if I just didn't talk to him until I could think about our time together and not cry. Well I cried alot, actually I spent 9 months crying almost every night. I started therapy to try and pick myself up out of the massive hole I hade buried myself in. I learned alot through those appointments and worked through alot of the underlying problems that existed in our relationship that I had remained blissfully unaware of. (neediness, insecurities, etc)Truth be told, I believe that if it didn't work the first time, it's not going to work the second time. Unless (there are always exceptions), something drastically changes in either your lifestyle or his. There's this book called "It's called a break up because it's broken" (I strongly suggest reading it) and it makes the point that no failed relationship can ever work again unless both people are willing to put on their overwalls, get a hammer and same nails and put all they have into rebuilding their relationship. I have good news though! Guess what? Today, after spending sometimes trying to work through my probelms my ex and I met again and everything just fell back into place and now we are expecting our first child! We're not married yet but we're working on it- marriage isn't something you rush into. Good Luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): I actually dumped my first love about 8 years ago, and I regret it to this day. I have dated other guys and even got married a couple of years ago (my husband and I are currently in the process of divorcing) My first love was and is still a great guy and is still the one who has treated me the best...husband included, sad to say. I actually visited my first love shortly before I got married and we had a wonderful time and even admitted there was still love there, however, I stupidly ignored this thinking I only went to see him for "closure" and married a man who turned out to be a first class jerk. My first love got married this past summer and his wife is pregnant...not the greatest feeling, but life has to go on. First love is very strong and hard to get rid of (in case you haven't gotten that from my story!) However, I have learned that he has become almost fanatically religious and I am not a very religious person, so it is unlikely we would've worked out anyway. I believe things happen for a reason.It is always possible for someone to dump someone and realize they made a mistake. That is what happend with my husband. He decided one day he was having a midlife crisis and didn't want to be married any longer...now he has told me that he made the biggest mistake of his life and wants me back...I have no intention of going back to him. It's a bizarre phenomenon, people want what they can't have.My best advice to you is to live your life to the fullest whether or not that includes a new relationship. If your past love chooses to come around, make sure it is because HE wanted to, not because you persuaded him in some way. You don't need him to happy. Should he choose to come around, it will be YOUR choice to take him back or not. But PLEASE don't waste your time hoping he will come back, go out there and live!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): I actually dumped my first love the first time after we had been together for about 2 years too. I dated other guys but thought of him alot. He found me a few years later and we hit it off instantly had alot of arguments and I could not trust him. We got engaged and 3 years later I found out he was texting another girl and planning to hook up with her and threw him out. I knew that I deserved better and got out of my hole and had fun. Now I am married to the most handsome and inteligent guy who shows the outter most respect to me that I am grateful I made the decision to move on kick out my first love.
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (19 December 2008):
 i was dumped by my first love twive, the first time after 2 years, i dated other guys, went to a party......he found out..was jelous got me back. then again after 11 yrs together he cheated, wanted time to sort his feelings, i felt so hurt and rejected i told himto leave me alone forever......since then hes tried at least 3-4 times to get me back but im too hurt to take hi back.
yes go on with your life, act uninterested, go out with other guys......they always come back as long as you dont chase them. Do take this time to find yourself and figure out why and if you really do want him back.
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