A
female
age
41-50,
*ellavalady
writes:So my ex and I remain very close friends after dating for over a year and agreeing that we had a great relationship but, not at the right time. I had baggage that he didn't deserve to put up with and he wanted committment, even bought me an engagement ring, he still feared he may have been moving too fast. So we mutually agreed to go our seperate ways, agreed that we would be friends. We still sent texts saying "I love you", " I miss you", "thinking of you", yet we kept it platonic. Well, I became weary of the stringing eachother along and decided it was time to cut the cord, I told him it hurt more holding on, than it did waiting for him. This hurt both of us but, I knew it had to be done. I started ignoring him and actually cut communication off for 4 months and had intentions on contacting him. And I knew I was still in love with him, I just had to worry about myself and I felt if it was meant to be, he would come back to me. Well, I went out to a birthday party that was at a lounge and who do I see when I walk in, the man I've been loving for the last 3 years. He was so nervous but really happy to see me, kept asking about my family and my kids, asked if got married, kept telling me how good I looked, not to mention he didn't look as good he has lost weight so I know he wasn't happy, I could just tell he wasn't at his best. We spoke for a few and I politely walked away, took a seat with my friends and watched him from afar, I didn't want to seem desperate. So, as he exited the party he hugged me kissed me on the cheek and told me he loves me and that he will call me. I was so shocked that this man told me he still loved me, all of feelings came to surface after about a month of communication. I finally built up the nerve to say what I had been holding in for that year and a half, I pured my heart out to him and acknowledged that I knew I could be rejected but, some things you'll never know until you take that chance. He was welcoming to the idea and agreed that I was the one he wants to be with but, he told me that he started dealing with someone, so I'm like "ok handle your business" I can wait a minute. Well, he still seemed nervous when we would talk, so I dug a little further asked him if he was actually living with her, he says yes. I'm like "damn" I know he is the loyal type of man and will not sleep around and he knows how I feel about cheating men. That's when he poured it all out. He bascially realized he made a mistake, kept telling me how I have sooo many qualties and that he knows he wants to be with me, and that he for some reason is sure he'll be happy with me. Everytime he reassures me, he says I love you with all of my heart. He always says that, he says he's always loved me, he just didn't want to get played and didn't want me to hurt him and he didn't want to hurt me either. he says he cares about me and didn't want to lie about anything, but that he knows that we are meant to be and says we will be together soon...... That's all I have for now, I have a busy life and I really don't have the time to sweat and beg for him to hurry up and make things happen, I just continue on with my life and as many options come my way, I'm still gonna date, so I'm really not waiting but, he thinks I am... I know there is nothing but greatness for us. We both take committment seriously and he knew I was gonna need time to get my life in oreder before I would start a relationship. I am divorced, intelligent, and beautiful, I'm a queen and I will not settle for any man. We all make mistakes, he made one by allowing her to move in with him and I understand, hell I married the wrong man before, so I know how he feels. I am very understanding and easy to communicate with. He says he's just gonna let the lease end and by that time her daughter will be done school and he won't feel so bad. I want to be selfish about this but, I'm too beautiful and very much a lady for this situation. I personally believe if he were to spend one night with me, he would probably not want to look at her ever again, but he's trying to do things right, this man is truly a good man, and I'm proud that my judgement about him was good. I am mature enough to realize sometimes you don't know what you have until its gone, and after you get tired of unintentionally comparing other guys to "the love of my life" I might as well have the patience for him to correct his situation and come to me the right way. Anybody been something simular, it can't always be bad news, there really are some good men out there.
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female
reader, Polaroid93  +, writes (17 March 2010):
Taking someone back means you still have the same problems but why not you guys seem pretty functional.
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