A
female
age
41-50,
*ellavalady
writes:I honestly have never even thought about taking an ex back. But this one knows he made mistakes as did I. We want to try again. What was your experience like? I'm looking for positive encouragement. I analyze on the negative outcomes enough so I want to hear the brighter side of things. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2010): I broke up with my now wife after 2 month of dating.
The reason I broke up with her was pretty much because she was perfect and everything I ever wanted - for some reason men go through these 'commitment' freakouts and I was no exception.
It may sound strange but breaking up with her may have been the best thing I ever did.
The breakup itself was PAINFUL!! She just looked at me with her big blue eyes and said "I'll miss you." When she said that it felt like my heart was ripped out. Over the next month we keep in contact but she was always dignified but at the same time sweet.
During the month apart I went on a number of dates to try to move on but none could compare to her. The final blow came I slept with a woman I had been pursuing for some time. On paper this woman was perfect so I took her out to dinner but knew I had made a mistake, sleeping with her felt like the biggest mistake ever and when I woke up the next morning it was literary like a sledgehammer to the face.
I phoned and texted my now wife for hours in the morning and she didn't answer - the panic I felt when I realised it might be too late to win her back was something I will never forget.
Luckily she took me back and after a few months I came clean about sleeping with this other woman. I was yelled at (deservedly so) but now we fondly joke about the 'Vivian' incident.
Why was us breaking up a good thing? Because I will NEVER forget the panic I felt that morning and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that she is the one, the only one, for me.
9 months after our breakup we got engaged, three years later we got married. Now, 8 years later, I am happier than I could ever tell you and I have never, nor will I have look at another woman.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2010): First I wish you the best of luck in what you choose.
Why did it not work out the first time?
Following reasons not to try to work it out:
Cheated,Lied,Minipulated,too much Drama,Stole from you, tried to get you to take care of his dumb bum, Or over jelous, or #1 an abuser...
Ok -lol setting all the bad seeds out...
Really if it was just tiny stuff work through it, Look at the big picture and key point rember he is who he is just as you are you..
I went back 1 time on my ex -boyfriend - we couldnt get passed the 1st set of issues that ended it to begain with..
So we went are merry ways..
Now I am in a relationship, were b/c all the bad seeds I got scarde b/c it was all new to me and broke it off with him and shortly we got back together all has been good...
But he is my match, my soul mate- (were too much alike, and I swear we both read each other very well)
So I gave you both times I did and the 411 on what happened.. Again good Luck !!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2010): Me and my boyfriend were together for six months, then broke up and had nothing in contact for 4 months, then on a chance meeting we started talking again - that was 3 yers ago and we have been together ever since! It definately can work. Our relatioship is now much beter than the first time and I think you just have to communicate more and try not make the same mistakes as the first time. However you have to start with a clean slate - don't bring up bad things that happened the first time around. Good luck!
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