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Hard from seeing a naked woman?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 September 2013) 9 Answers - (Newest, 16 September 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have a question about erections....

My last two boyfriends could only get half boners from seeing me naked, one was heavily into porn. Is that because I look bad compared to the porn? Is it because they aren't really that interested in sex? I alway thought guys would get hard from seeing a real woman naked.

View related questions: erection, porn

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (16 September 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntyou thought wrong...

they have to be thinking of having sex with said naked woman also.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (16 September 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntMost of us guys "get hard" just knowing that there is SOME WOMAN.... somewhere, within 50 miles of us, who might be naked at that moment... or could, possibly, be naked within the next several years.....

IF you can determine what it is that makes a guy hard, you should reveal what you have learned, to the world, and not hoard this critical bit of information about what makes guys, "guys".....

P.S. Besides "hard".. many of us guys have "palpitations" if actually SEE a woman naked!!!!

Good luck....

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A male reader, C. Grant Canada +, writes (15 September 2013):

C. Grant agony auntIt's partly an issue of age and experience. A teenage virgin could get painfully hard at the mere sight of a naked woman. As you get older and have more experience, you react less.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (15 September 2013):

chigirl agony auntThat varies a lot from person to person. It depends on your relationship also, the dynamic between you, the sexual chemistry etc.

If I take my top off and show my boobs my boyfriend wont automatically get a hard on. But if I look at him with a "come hither" type of look, kiss him passionately, then slowly remove my top and play with my tongue over my teeth and squeeze me boobs together, then that has quite the effect. So it depends on context.

If I'm getting out of the shower butt naked and he is brushing his teeth, maybe I get a half boner. Maybe not. Depends on how sleepy he is/busy with other things. But if I am naked in bed with him, holding him close and nibbling his neck, he's rock hard. Again, context.

I've had one boyfriend though who barely got hard. But I lived with him and know he didn't look at porn. He barely did anything really, he wasn't really that interested in sex. He never initiated. Never really got rock hard either, not even when we actually had sex. Some men just don't get that hard, some have erectile problems. Others have a low sex drive, they just aren't that interested in sex.

It never really has anything to do with you not being hot or attractive. Think of it this way, they wouldn't be in a relationship with you if they weren't attracted to you. But some men just aren't that interested in sex, while others want it all the time. For a sexual person, almost anyone can be a turn on. For a person with a low sex drive almost no one will be a turn on. In neither case does it have much to do with the partner. It's all about them and how they are.

A persons interest in sex with their partner is not nearly as related to their level of attraction, as it is related to other variables: sex drive, health, general happiness in the relationship, level of comfort/friendship with their partner etc.

Some do watch too much porn, I can imagine, but I will rather assume their porn-habits are a side effect of their inability to enjoy sex with a real woman, rather than porn being the CAUSE of their inability. Several of my boyfriend have watched porn without it having any effect on their sexual appetite for me. In fact though I watch way more porn than any of my boyfriends have had, and I want sex very often. So porn and lack of sexual attraction to a partner is NOT linked. Porn is masturbation, it's a thing of it's own. Not a substitute for sex with a partner.

Find a boyfriend who you enjoy sex with, and I think this wont bother you any longer. It's more likely your last two boyfriends had issues getting a hard on, and that's the end of that.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (15 September 2013):

If only it were that easy...

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (15 September 2013):

Honeypie agony auntSeeing a naked GORGEOUS male body doesn't necessarily arouse me.

I know people keep saying how men are more visual creatures then women, but I think they NEED more then just a look-see to get going.

So it's NOT about your body. IT's about needing more stimulants to get aroused (then JUST a look of a naked body).

A kiss on the neck, bite on the earlobe, a brush on the arm is way more effective.

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A male reader, jiggaman22 United Kingdom +, writes (15 September 2013):

Completely agree with Cerberus; we need more than visuals.

I personally get solid just by thinking about the women I am with; its all in the mind. if a guy has a lot on his mind, it can mean that the guy can't get hard because of stresses. Or even this one time when I had a stupid music tune stuck in my head, I couldn't achieve "wood" because I was far to distracted lol!

Point of the matter is; don't take it personally. I don't know of any men that I have met to compare women in real life to porn.

JiggaJigga

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2013):

OP naked women is usually not enough to make a guy fully hard we see them everywhere and all the time. I mean do you get completely aroused and soaking wet when you see a man naked?

I doubt it, well lots of us need physical contact or filthy words or to think about sex itself.

Don't get me wrong OP, I love the sight for a naked woman but it's not enough to make me rock hard, it's the thought of getting to play with that body that makes me hard. I see my wife naked almost every morning when she comes out of the shower etc. Doesn't make me aroused.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2013):

Did just seeing either of them naked make you wet?

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