A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello there, i am seeking relationship advice i have been talking to a girl now since December. at first we would go on small dates not spending much time together and talking on the phone from time to time. At first i was not really attracted to her,but i continued just to see where it would go. in late April she asked me how i felt about her and told me that she really liked me. I told her that i liked her as well but was not ready for a relationship yet but that i would like to see her more often and get to know her better, she agreed that it was the best idea. since then we have seen each other about twice a week and talk regularly through the week. i have slowly became quite fond of the girl we seem to have good chemistry between us.a few days ago we had a conversation about our relationship i asked her how she felt about it and if she was ready to "officially" start dating. she told me that she felt that we clicked well with one another and that she felt good chemistry between us however she said the her last relationship that lasted three years started as being best friends and that she wants us to become closer before it gets serious. i acted fine with it but was honestly troubled i am not sure if she is leading me on or what? i talked to some very close mutual friends of ours, they informed me that i should trust her that she is not the kind of girl who would betray some one or lead someone on. they think very highly of her. i trust them a good bit as they have been my closest friends for many year. we actually met through them. also she has been talking about joining the army for sometime now, i really don't want her to join but i have said nothing about it. half of me says run from her! while the other half screams at me to stay by her. i am very unsure of what to do and it has been bothering me (badly) i am really don't feel that i should spill my guts to her,because i was always told that women cant chase men that don run away. so please send me some advice!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionalso what should i do about the army think she goes to some kind of training this summer not sure what kind pretty sure its not basics. the army really doesn't seem like her she is a very nerdy girl who is very mellow
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for answering i guess i am just worried because i had a very bad relationship earlier last year. i think i just don't trust people at this point. but again thanks for the answer it really helps me
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): I am not understanding why you are troubled? I may just not be reading your post closely enough....but why do you think she's leading you on?
From what you wrote, it seems like she's not... I mean you are telling us that you are fond of her, and all you know is what she's told you, which is that she likes you.
So what's so bad with taking it slow and getting to know each other more before getting serious? I don't think she's said or done anything contradictory or done/said anything to lead you on. She said she likes you, but doesn't want to get to serious or exclusive at this stage until she gets to know you more. That sounds reasonable to me. She probably likes the pace you are at right now. Especially since she's already told you she likes you, and you're the one who said that you weren't ready at one point. I can see why she's cautious and wants to take it slow.
I mean it's true that she could be playing you, but what you've stated alone doesn't necessarily show that she is, especially when your close mutual friends are vouching for her.
Again you might want to clarify exactly why you were troubled and felt led on...
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