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Had oral sex with a friend when I was drunk! He asked me to be discreet but it all came out in the local gossip.

Tagged as: Friends, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 October 2006) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 October 2006)
A male , anonymous writes:

i had oral sex with a friend when drunk and its comes back to bite. He is not out, made clear it was a one off and asked me to be discreet. anyway when one of my other friends came round she had a line of speed for us both. I told her soon after and we got drunk.

then in the pub she told another one of our friends and now a number of people know (i dont blame her, it was the drugs, and if i did it would be hypocritical of me).

what makes this so bad is that i broke the trust of my friend and compared to my other friends he was there when i went crazy in the past and is far more genuine (i like the others but it is very rare to find someone who cares when your in trouble) . i have massive amounts of respect for him. what complicates this problem is that only recently he got a mobile and the friend who has his number is one of the instrumental blabbers. Therefore asking for the number will just add fuel to the fire.

i wish that my mouth had not been so big. I dont regret what happened (not much sexual but i was just really nice and quite thrilling). I am terrified that i will lose him as a friend. i just wish noisy gossip would die but as my best friend (back home) said" this is just to juicy to die quickly. AAAAAARRRGGGHHHH!the point is i want to speak to him, should i tell the truth ? its more mature than cover up lies and avoidance (i am currently denying it to people but the stress it induces is obvious even though i am a great liar, it wouldn't if i didnt care so much).

View related questions: best friend, drugs, drunk, liar, oral sex

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2006):

although your answer is harsh it is true. i am not as stressed now. it has transpired that the "instrumental blabber" does not actually know anything but another individual had started spreading rumors as he suspects something and the trail wasnt a result of my lack of discretion(though it so easily could have). this i found confusing, but the blabber (not) has asked this guy to shoosh but he got pissed off and wouldnt listen. anyway she told me stuff relating to him and i told her stuff inrelation to him and we thingk he may be gay secretly. this would explain his love of this story(telling every fucker round the pubs) and his strange behaviour towards me in the last month or so. anyway the drugs werent the problem- it was my desire to tell, the drugs just made it pop like a bad zit waiting to be splattered. the original oral incident was a shock at the time and should have been thought through, but hey we all make mistakes

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A male reader, Frank B Kermit Canada +, writes (19 October 2006):

Frank B Kermit agony auntYou have an obligation to protect the reputation of the people you engage with sexually. Period.

You do what ever it takes to stick to that. Your stress is your problem. If you can not handle that, then you forfiet your right to be sexually active.

Stop using speed or other drugs, and grow up.

-Frank B Kermit

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