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anonymous
writes: Opionions and advice are realy needed. I've been with my guy for 5 years (since I was 14) and for the past 4 of those years he has managed to turn me into a wreck. I have a good job and I live with him and his parents, but for the past 8 months i have come to realise he doesnt love me.Roughly once a month (can be anything up to 15 times a month) he gets very angry and lashes out at me. We are a respectable family, and his parents are known members of the community. I know what he does is becuse there is a flaw to his love for me, and for me, that is not love, I believe there is something else. So about 3 months ago, I told him I was moving in with a friend (I only have one due to his possesiveness). I told him in a public place because i was scared at what he might do, he went mad, dragged me out side a kicked and punched me all the way home, where he tried to strangle me with his ruck sack handle. I'm not silly, I know he does this becuae he is insecure and does not want to be alone, but how can I put up with these violent outbursts and heavy possesivness? I want to run away, but dont know where to go? Please can you help, i dont know who or what else to ask???
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Charlie, writes (14 January 2005): You have to get out of this relationship NOW! There is no excuse on this earth for violent behaviour and if he truly loved you there is no way he would ever raise his fist to you, I know what its like being with someone for that long but you have to be strong, if he didn't want to be alone he wouldn't risk losing you. You are never alone there are so many organisations to help victims of abuse, just have a look on the internet to find places to help you. Speak to your friend that you were going to move in with 3 months ago and when he is out get your stuff and go, leave a note and don't tell him where you have gone - this is disgusting behaviour and if his parents know about it then you need to leave, have you got any family that you can talk to about this? If he threatens you when you move out - talk to the police. If you stay with this guy then who knows how long it will be before he really hurts you, I know it is tough being in a situation like this but you have to think about your safety, try and get in touch with old friends they will be so glad you got in touch and real friends will do anything to help you. Just remember you are never alone and life is too short to waste, if you don't feel strong enough yet for drastic action talk to a counsellor about it, gain your confidence and then you will have the strength to do what is necessary. There is no way you should be going through this at your age but luckily you are young enough to sort it out now and have time to recover and move on. You know in your heart that this is wrong, now you just have to convince your head that it is for the best but please seek professional help and everything will work out for the best
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