A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone,I am 19. My boyfriend of almost 3 years recently broke it off and I'm trying to move on, and I am ready to date again and just have fun. I am really attracted to this guy I go to school with, but I found out he's 27. I thought he was like 23. We get along really well, he's very intelligent, good-looking, and I feel completely at ease around him. We went on a date (not sure if he viewed it as such) and had a fantastic time. To the guys who are in relationships with younger women or are being pursued by younger women (still at least 18, though) what are your thoughts on this? Did you ever feel that the age difference was too striking in terms of doing things together? My mom put it to me this way "he's already experienced the things that you want to experience." Could that be an issue?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe are at the same community college, and in the same academic program, which has all ages from 17-50. And I say that I was unsure if it was a date because I asked him if he wanted to hang, rather than "let's go on a date" or "do you want to go out". Hope that clears things up so you can help me more :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the response everyone. Let me answer some questions for you:I'm starting to see that my previous boyfriend of almost 3 years was not the one for me because our relationship became very one sided and he wouldn't budge at all on a number of things. The 27 year old in question is not necessarily coming on to me or anything like that, we are just in a somewhat similar social circle. Until he told me his age, I would have guessed him to be closer to mine because he's so youthful looking and still acts like a "young man". To iamheretohelpyou, I am on birth control and would never engage in unprotected sex, I'm not that much of a reckless young adult XD To me, it seems like he is still looking to have fun and go out, rather than settling down.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2013): "Did you ever feel that the age difference was too striking in terms of doing things together? "My mom put it to me this way "he's already experienced the things that you want to experience." Could that be an issue?"Your mother is very wise and perceptive. It's not the age difference, it's the maturity and life experience difference between two people at different stages in life. And given that you became involved in a presumably exclusive relationship at a relatively young age, you are probably less socially savvy than typical young adult women. As a much older guy, I personally tend to be suspicious of the motives of any male over 25 who gravitates toward young adult females as it suggests to me that he could have a difficult time relating to women his age who might immediately sense something "off" and reject him out of hand, leading him to turn to women 18-21 who can't always distinguish the difference between age and maturity.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 April 2013):
 I am not a guy but I am an older partner. When I was 27 my now husband would have been 14. There is no way I would have thought of him as anything other than baby sitting material....
That being said... you are 19 to his 27 that's a mere 8 years and at 19 you still have a lot of living to do and learning and growing and yes maturing to do.
As the older partner I can tell you I worry a great deal about my husband being left alone when I die before him. I worry that my health will necessitate him caring for me more like a parent in need than a spouse later in life.
Also the expectation is that the older partner will be the man is common. Older women are seen in a much worse light than older men.
If you are both single, if you are both happy and it's working for you then have at it...
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