A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I fooled around with a guy from work one night that I like, I waited a week to see if he'd text me but he didn't. I saw him at work again and we barely talked but had some small talk. Earlier I texted him casually but he hasn't replied. He seemed in to me when we got together that night and I like him but I don't know what he's thinking and don't want to confront him because we work together and I don't want to seem needy. Also i'm embarrassed he hasn't replied and think I look desperate? How shall I act next time I see him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice everyone. We've both left our job to go back to University for now. I'm returning in summer but he's not. I met him after work the other day and he said his phone had been broken so he couldn't text me...he said he liked me and asked me to trust him. He abruptly left when I told him the bottom line though - that I wouldn't have sex with him now. He went back to University today. I think I feel better about the situation but now I don't know if he just wants sex? I think I'll have to wait for Summer to find out for sure.
A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (22 April 2011):
 if you didn't contact him for a whole week after the incident and only texted him that one time afterwards, it sounds to me like you don't sound desperate at all. so i wouldn't worry too much about that. you can still hold your head high. but if he doesn't respond or get in touch with you after you contacted him first, i would drop the situation all together and try my best to let it go. because if he were interested, he would contact you. especially after you initiated contact.as for the incident, was there drinking involved? men are very different when it comes to hook ups. they don't get emotionally attached like women often do. so to him, this may have just been a one time fling. he probably was really into it, like you said. but men are really good at seperating emotions from sex/fooling around. he could have been extremely into you physically without being into you emotionally. if i were you, i would just back off and try to leave it be. i know it's awkward since you two work together. i'm sorry this happened to you. best of luck.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 April 2011):
 I'd treat him courteously, but from a bit of a distance, like you have WAY better things going on than waiting for a text from some lame-o guy. Keep your dignity, hold your head high and ignore him unless you have no choice. Polite boredom, a sense of "I don't really have much time for you, so keep it strictly work now" is how I would go for now. I expect he probably has a girlfriend in the background he didn't think to mention at the time you were getting hot and heavy.
You do sound a bit desperate, frankly, and I would now leave well enough alone. And play outside your workplace next time, this is how people wind up with reputations and it's usually the woman who suffers in the telling. Sorry it didn't work out this time. Take it as a lesson, hold your head up high and "Keep Calm and Carry On."
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (21 April 2011):
 I'm willing to bet that he was just looking for sex and since you wouldn't put out he has just moved on in search of someone who will. Pat yourself on your back for being more than just another notch on his bedpost.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 April 2011):
 He is JUST not that into you, sorry.
I would pretend it never happened and move on.
Oh and not try and date in the work place again, it can make for really awkward situations.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011): This happened to me about 3 years ago. Me and this guy at work got together after a night out. However he called me on the Sunday and said he didn;t think it was going to work and he was sorry. I was upset but what upset me more was his behaviour the following week. He avoided me like the plague but at the same time made excuses to come onto the floor where I worked. Anyway we used to catch the tube home together and one day I saw him on the platform walking away to the other end to deliberately avoiding me. That was it! I had enough so I followed him and asked him if he was avoiding me. He said he was because he thought I would be angry with him and shout at him! What a coward! That is exactly what this guy is doing. He doesn't have the guts to tell to you to your face that he doesn't want a relationship/repeat of your night together.Do what I did, talk to him in a controlled and calm way. Show him what maturity is all about.My situation worked out great. He was really surprised at my attitude because I told him I respected his decision and wouldn't embarass myself by shouting at him. We are really good friends now and still make each other laugh like crazy on our journey home.Good luck
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female
reader, Minou  +, writes (21 April 2011):
Actually yeah you look desperate because maybe You have starting to develop feelings for him.But What about him? I mean What you think you? Was he out with you just to enjoy or maybe he has something for you in his heart?You know what? You're right. All these things cannot be talked in office. Why don't you fix up a meeting outside the office with him..Tel him you have to talk to him about a serious issue. Then You tell him frankly and ask him about his intention. Also Clearly tell him before that whatever happens You will not mix personal and professional life together and that you are expecting same from his side also.The fact that he did not reply to your message do create a doubt.Hope it helps. (^_^)
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, I didn't have sex with him because I'm not that kind of person, which I explained to him at the time, but we did other stuff.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (21 April 2011):
Did you have sex with him?
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