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anonymous
writes: I met a lovely guy recently and we were both instantly attracted to each other, we had one fantastic date but a few days later he hit me with the bombshell that he was seeing someone else and had been for several months but said it wasnt a very good relationship and was very on/off ( off most of the time)he said he liked me a lot and didnt want to hurt me ( or her ) but was very confused about what to do. i told him id like to keep in touch with him and see him again, so we did but he keeps going hot and cold with me ( but comming up with valid excuses) and its starting to hurt, so ive been making excuses and putting him off recently every time he suggests seeing the trouble is i know is is confused and i cannot ignore the fact that we are very good together,he is a great guy and i dont want to loose him. what should i do
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female
reader, 001 Girl  +, writes (5 August 2011):
If a guy cheats on his girlfriend to be with you, what guarantee do you have that if you become his girlfriend, that he won't do the same to his last and cheat on you when something better comes along....
Its a cycle that only you can decide whether its going to stop or continue
A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (26 January 2005):
 I think you need to tell this guy that he has to make up his mind as towhat he really wants as the way things are, he is basically having his cake and eat it. He needs to decide who he wants to be with and it may be an idea for you to try and not have anything to do with him until he makes that decision. People are getting hurt here. Does his girl-friend know how he feels and about you? She needs to be considered too. Are you sure you can be with someone who has the potential to be unfaithful to his partner? If it isn't a very good relationship that he is in, why is he so confused? Are there other issues here or is he simply trying to see the both of you?You don't want to loose him which is understandable and maybe the other girl doesn't want to loose him either but I think you need to allow him to make up his own mind as to who he wants to be with. In that time, arrange to go out with your friends and become more independent. Wait to see what his decision is and then consider, on the basis of what he says, whether you want to be with him or not.Good luck.
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