A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone. im needing some help. i have been in a relationship coming up two years now and i am totally head over heals in love with my girlfriend, and i know she loves me as much. we are both realy happy, but i have recently been thinking of a time in our first summer together where we were both on shaky ground and were on the verge of breaking up where i was kissed by another girl. it was totally innocent on my behalf and i told her earlier that night that i was in a relationship and would never cheat on her regardless of our current status. but after this girl drove me and my sister back to our family home i said thanks, got out the car, (she followed) and she lent in and kissed me. it was literally to say goodnight so just a peck. This was about a year and a half ago now but the reason i started to think of this is because our relationship has gotten even more serious and i am constently thinking about our future and a long and happy life together which i know she wants as well. its tearing me up inside because her ex kissed another girl and she ended up finishing with him because of it. i don't want to lose her! just for the record i have never seen the girl since that night as i think she got the idea that i didn't want to kiss her with the horrified look i gave lol! there is so much more i want to write about this so if anyone wants to know any more about it i will let you know, i just think its getting a bit long thats all :)Thanks guys x
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey guys,
first of thanx for the replies. Second the girl was at a pub that me and my sister were in after we left the party we were at before. My sister knew her through a friend so thats how we got chatting. I didn't kiss her either, if it had been any longer i would have pulled away but i didn't get the chance it went so quick! I will deffinatley be telling her, im just very very scared at the moment becaue i don't want to lose her.
The only reason it took so long was because at the time i was unsure to where we were going. I honestly thought we were over. I even talked to her later that month with the intension of breaking up with her. I guess i forgot as at the time i thought "well if this is it then i wont bother hurting her". It sounds horrible but i thought it would be better that way as saying, your dumped, oh and by the way a girl kissed me the other day, would be a bit much. We decided to give it a go and i've never been so glad we did! I guess im reaching for excues but there was no intent from me and i didn't stick my tongue down her throat or have sex with her. I always said to her i would not cheat on her and i really ment it and still do and i think thats why im so upset because i really don't think i did but it sounds like i did.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (20 October 2010):
 I take it you have not told your girlfriend. That's what I would do. I would also like to emphasize the difference between you kissing another girl, and this girl sneaking a peck on you. You had not intent to do anything with her, even told her so earlier that evening.
Guilt progresses when you understand there is something that is secret between the two of you. We understand relationships to be open, and honest, so the deeper you fall into your girlfriend, the more the guilt will eat at you. In your situation, I don't see that you did anything wrong. You didn't ask for or reciprocate the kiss with the other girl. If you choose to marry the your girlfriend, I strongly urge you talk to her about this before hand. That way you can enter into that phase of your life together, without having something hanging over your head.
I would recommend you talk to her. The one issue that may arise is why it took so long for you to do so. After you talk to her, stop thinking about it, because if it happened the way you said, it really way as innocent as it seems to be.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (20 October 2010):
 Just curious, why were you hanging out with this random girl? It's a kiss, still a form of cheating but a lesser charge. You didn't kiss back or pull away? If you puckered up then you are innocent by no means..
Guilt is eating away at you, good that means you have a conscious. Honesty is the best policy in your case. Just explain to her what happened, doesn't mean she'll do you like she did her ex. Her ex kissed a girl and liked it, a girl kissed you and you apparently didn't like it. Different scenario..No doubt she'll be mad, because it happened when things were a little rocky between you too...But she'll get over it because the girl kissed you not the other way around. (So you say)
Tell her as soon as possible, the longer you wait, the longer it will be till she forgives you.
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