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female
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*endylousky
writes: I have been with the same person for 2 years and 7 months. When we met, we were both going through divorces. My divorce was 2 years in the making and his only a few months. I had fallen completely in love with him within a couple of month. It took "Tony" over a year to tell me he loved me. Well here's the situation. In January a situation with my home came up where my ex-husband and I decided to sell. I started looking for a place to rent when Tony asked me to move in with him. After thinking it through I decided to go for it. I moved in in January and it has been great. I feel our relationship is perfect. He treats me with total respect and the love he has for me is something I have never experienced before in my life. We are talking about buying a house together. I do not bring this up to him because I feel he will ask when he is ready but, I can't understand how something so right (marriage) can be so wrong for him. I told him when we were together just a few months that I did not plan on spending the rest of my life single and if that was what he wanted then we needed to move on without one another. How long is too long? The only thing we don't do as a "married" couple is share a check book. Do you think me moving in with him was a mistake? Should I have waited to give him a taste of married life before he was actually willing to marry me? Please Help!
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female
reader, hannieseds  +, writes (8 June 2006):
 Hey Wendylousky,
I don't think you were wrong in moving in with him! You love him, he loves you, moving in together is the next natural step. You have gotten a 'taste' of what married life would be like together, and so far so good you say? Life is about taking chances, do not regret moving on with you life! He treats you very very well by the sounds of it and you talk about buying a house together - I don't really understand what the problem is!
You say " I can't understand how something so right (marriage) can be so wrong for him? - Has he said he doesn't want to marry you?
If he doesn't want marriage, then you have to look deep within you and decide if you are happy just being a de facto couple, or if marriage to this man is the be all and end all.
If he does want to marry you EVENTUALLY, then in time it will come! What is the point in rushing something that will happen? You are happy right now, relish in that happiness and stop questioning the future so much. You are in love, he treats you well, you have a perfect relationship - enjoy it!
xxx
A
female
reader, sibaan +, writes (8 June 2006):
 your man needs to step up or ship out but maybe he is just not ready yet...
everything takes time...
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