A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, here's my problem.I love my girlfriend to death, but I can't stand her teeth.Well, her front teeth.One crosses over the other one like... A LOT.Now I don't want to hurt her feelings, and she has a self esteem problem, but she wants to get married in the future and I don't want that in our pictures.I feel dreadful about it.I mean maybe straight teeth will help with her self esteem but....I don't know.Don't say I don't love her for who she is.She is an amazing girl and I wouldn't trade her for anyone else.I just... Can't stand her front teeth.Is there any way for me to suggest braces without sounding completely rude?Is this just stupid of me to want her teeth like mine?Thanks for reading and helping.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): Did she not have bad teeth when you met her? If she did why did you go on the 2nd date? I think you should get over it.
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (28 April 2009):
 I think you need to have an open, diplomatic conversation with your GF about her teeth. If you are in a relationship that is progressing towards marriage then you should be able to talk about pretty much anything! I am sure no-one is more aware of her teeth than her. Orthodontic medicine has come on leaps and bounds since she was a child, and a trip to the dentist may reveal if anything can be done about the teeth. It really depends on the cause of the misalignment. In adults braces don't work as well as for children, and progress takes longer, but you can get non-metal transparent braces so she doesn't have to look like Ugly Betty. I think it is worth her having a dental checkup because in some cases there will be more issues that crooked teeth going on in the mouth. By this, I mean misalignment can aggravate gum disease and other dental problems as she ages, so she needs to talk to a specialist. Having said that, if she is happy with her teeth then there is little you can do about that and you can always photoshop those wedding pictures!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (28 April 2009):
You know I bet she has just never heard of braces before, and that's why she has probably taken YEARS of bullying and name calling! Gosh! You'll change her life!
It's not going to be that simple sweetheart.
There is probably a big reason why she has never got braces before.
Why not bring it up when talking about things you want to want to change about YOURSELF. Ask her why she's never got then fixed. If it's a case of money then offer to pay for half if she does want to get them fixed.
But remind her that you love her just the way she is and you'd marry her if her teeth came out of her eyes.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): No it's not really stupid for noticing that and being a little put off. But you are going to have to tread VERY carefully here. It's going to be hard to not come across as an a**.Try to bring it up very casually, but in the context of what she thinks about it. Don't frame it in a way that suggests it's all about you and what you want to see and have in your photos etc. Now, if she is happy with it, you have no choice but to keep your mouth shut from then on. But you said she does have self esteem. Maybe bring it up one day - what makes her have such low self esteem? If you come from a place f love and not being judgemental, things should be fine.
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (28 April 2009):
 Before you even begin to bring it up to her, can she even afford braces?
here's the thing, braces are extremely expensive. Extremely. And not only that, but if her teeth are as bad as you say, then she might not be able to get the invisalign, clear kind. She might have to actually have the metal brackets and wires kind.
For an adult with self esteem issues, that could be the fatal blow.
Look, she has managed to get through life pretty fine with crooked teeth, You can bring it up to her and just simply ask if it ever bothered her enough to get braces. If she says no, she doesn't care, then you need to let the issue die and leave it where it is.
If she says yes, she has wanted braces, but can't afford it/ would be too embarrassed etc. then you need to be prepared to bring out the check book and foot the bill, and reassure her about her beauty every minute of the day.
In the end, her teeth seem to bother you more.
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