A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so I am the stereotypical 'good girl': I have perfect attendance in the college I go to, I dont smoke cigarettes, or do any drugs, they do not appeal to me. I guess I am smart; I am junior with a 3.5 GPA and I am completely interested in my double major: Chemistry and Biology. I was getting tired of my boyfriend so I broke up with him. He was a great guy doing great things with a great house. He was completely in love with me. I had a problem with dating guys in trouble with the law before I started dating my boyfriend, and it seems like, after two years of this great relationship, I am back to the same thing. I started talking to this guy courtordered to a halfway house with horrible addiction problems. He, somehow, always convinced me to give him rides to places, without telling me where we were going or what we were doing, to get high at ghetto houses around the area. I never gave him money or let him affect my school life, I just screwed him... He is in jail now. I do not love this guy, I do not want to go back to my old boring 'good' boyfriend. I am not focused on boyfriend-girlfriend relationships. I am looking forward to hanging out (mostly screwing) with this 'bad' guy when he gets released, whenever that will be. I feel like I have some sort of villian fantasy, now that I am thinking about it.... This will probably get me in trouble. I can not tell anyone close to me how crazy I am...What is wrong with me?!
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female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (28 February 2012):
 Is there any way I can keep my 'head on straight' having this occasional relationship? Do you think i can stay out of trouble if i dont let him tell me where to go?That depends entirely on your personality. In the past have you been able to keep yourself under control in these types of situations? If not, chances are you won't be able to stay neutral presently either. If you're emotionally distant towards him as a person it shouldn't be much of an issue. The second you start to entertain feelings for him or get close, you're running a risk of loving with a jail bird and and unstable druggie.What troubles me is that if he can control and tell you where to DRIVE, which is a simple action that you can control yourself, how will you be able to control anything else? I don't think this is a good idea at all. You could be driving into all types of shady situations, where you could get attacked/raped by druggies, or shady men or even end up in jail yourself based on association.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2012): Thanks for the honest answers guys... your right, good girl is the wrong word for it, guess I felt like a ' good girl' in the company I was in.... Is there any way I can keep my 'head on straight' having this occasional relationship? Do you think i can stay out of trouble if i dont let him tell me where to go? He certainly has a drug problem, but he knows it. I like his eyes and the mystery is definitely some kind of turn on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2012): It's called evolution. Aggressive alpha-male types have better genes for your kids. Beta-males make better fathers.
You are in your young and fertile years so you are attracted to the guys with the best genes for your offspring, never mind their abilities as providers.
By the end of your 20s your preferences will probably have shifted. It's because your ancestors would have had several kids by that age since they lived before birth control. So now they would have needed the best father figure more than the best genes.
Even mature women in their 30s and beyond still tend to be more attracted to alpha-males during their most fertile parts of the month. Their "maturity" is only present when it is beneficial for reproduction.
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (24 February 2012):
I was under the impression that "good girls" don't have sex either, nor do they date criminals. :) Honestly, you're type-casting yourself into these silly, narrow, basic categories that no one fits into, including you.You're not into bad boys from what I read. You're interested in SEX with a guy, who is currently in jail. It's not the person, but the sex you're looking forward to. Was he just good in bed, or were his criminal activities a turn on? If it's your sexual chemistry together and solely the sex, it has nothing to do with him being a "bad boy". The guy you dated maybe was too boring and you weren't compatible and so what? Not all criminals are the exciting or fun, nor are all "decent" men some boring pansies. Just because you dated a boring, decent guy for 2 years doesn't mean everyone is like that. Chances are he would be boring to a lot of women, not just to women who are drawn to criminals. Try looking at a happy medium instead of going to both extremes.
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