A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy while I was abroad and he was the guy that all the girls wanted - girls were literally crowded around him - everyone goes about how he looks so much like Jesse Metcalfe. Now Jesse Metcalfe isn't my "type" at all even though I recognise people may find him attractive, but I got caught up in it too and liked him. Long story short, he ended up really liking me alot and stayed the whole time with me alone. He was very gentlemanly and we did not have sex nor did he try. But he promised to keep in touch and come to visit me.Since I have been back he has kept his word, he writes and calls me regularly and says how much he misses me and cant wait to see me. He is actually a really nice, sweet, genuine guy. After a while it started sinking into me - that I am not sure if I am really into this guy as he isnt what I normally go for. Could it be that maybe I got hyped into it because of all the hoards of girls chasing after him and gushing? I mean, getting the guy that all the girl wants. Or maybe I actually do fancy him. I do know under normal circumstances, I most likely wont have been drawn to him. But now I have no idea and because of the whole long distance thing it is not a case of dating and getting to know each other etc. It is either visit each other or never know!Because of this I decided to visit him instead - that way I can leave on my terms in worst case scenario we didnt get on at all (but dont really see that happening) But now the question is this - I am sort of freaking out that I arrive at the airport, take one glance at him and realise I am not into him at all! Then I have the case of spending a whole week with him...then there is that underlying thing or perhaps sex may be anticipated. I mean, if I was a man I would certainly have thought of sex so it is quite understandable. But I thought life is too short and I dont want to wonder about him in years to come so I booked the ticket as this is really the only way to find out. But now I am freaking out like big time in case I get there, and 10mins later realise I do not fancy this guy at all, then it will be so awkward for a whole week. Please someone give me some sort of useful advice - as much different advice from different aunties please!!! Thank you all!
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 November 2010):
 Well you say that you have already spent some time alone together, so at least it is safe to say that you both got on well to a certain degree.
I think that you are aware that he is not your usual type and this is worrying you more than it should be, at the end of the day dont be worrying that he is not your usual type because no relationship you have had has worked out to this point or else you wouldnt be single so just take it that change is good.
It is a big step just to book flights and go to another country and now that it is booked it is only normal that you are going to start getting nervous and automatically start thinking all of the worst scenarios that there can be.
My advice would just be to spend the week getting to know him as a person and enjoy yourself while you are over there, dont put to much pressure on yourself just get to know him over the week, if you dont want to have sex with him just say to him that it is to soon for you and you are not ready. If you think at the end of the week that he is just not the man for you then you can always go away knowing that you gave it a chance and you got a holiday out of it as well and maybe even a friend.
A
female
reader, x.BrokenxHearts.x  +, writes (9 November 2010):
 You said yourself you don't want to look back and regret not doing it so good on you for booking those tickets. Just wait and see don't pre plant ideas into your head about it. If its not meant to be, it's not meant to be... but what if it is?
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