A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am sick to my stomach my mind has been racing. My best friend and her husband like going to strip clubs. Well she has been asking me to go to the strip club and bring my husband. So I finally accepted and asked my husband if he would like to go. So he said yes of course what man would say no to that right. So we went this past weekend and it was fun for a moment until my husband got a lap dance that's when the pain In my stomach came. I told my best friend from the beginning that I really wasn't sure if I could handle going to the strip club and these woman rubbing there self all over my husband. When we where there my husband and friend asked if I was alright and I said yes but I really was not. I guess I lied because I didn't want to be the mood killer and Nagy wife. I really don't know what to do in this kind of situation. I want to talk to my husband about all this but I'm not sure how to bring it up. Now my husband is very supportive and I know I can tell him any thing. I just hate being the woman that is jelious so I don't know what to think, so if anyone has any advice to help me out that would be great!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank u to everyone with your advice it has helped so much. I know I will get through this. We all learn as we go and I will not make this mistake again. I just hope I can get this whole thig out of my head, I hate picturing what happen in my head hopefully it will go away soon!
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (13 April 2011):
 "...what man would say no to that right."
Most men, after making that mistake once. I've made it myself - once. You say your husband is supportive - that means he has also figured out you didn't enjoy it, and wants to make you feel better.
"...my husband got a lap dance that's when the pain In my stomach came."
Sometimes intense emotional reactions, like jealousy, release all kinds of hormones and endorphins and whatnot into our systems, and we feel them strongly in our gut - literally because some of the glands are there. This is normal (unless you coincidentally had an ulcer at that exact moment), if a bit strong.
"I just hate being the woman that is jelious so I don't know what to think."
Jealousy is a normal part of love. Not a great and happy part, but it's one of the driving forces behind monogamy. You should not be guilty for *feeling* jealousy. Dealing with it effectively, though, means *acting* on it in a rational and productive manner. Talk to your husband. He's on your team, and wants you to be happy.
If your friend offers, politely decline. Just say "I didn't really enjoy the experience, but I appreciate you trying to show me something new." Really, it would be unrealistic to expect you to enjoy every new experience you have, she'll understand that as long as you don't accuse her of trying to make you unhappy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2011): first of all it is ok to be jealous and possessive to the extent. i feel normally 95 % good wife will be like you and would not be liking the some strippers doing lap. so say to him that, pl do not do that. my best bet is to never go to stripper club. forget the incident.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (13 April 2011):
 Did your friend or her husband pay for your husband to get a lap dance?
You agreed to go in the first place and invited your husband so you knew in a sense what could potentially happen. If you were unsure about going then you should have declined her invitation. Although, you did handle yourself pretty well.
If you're still bothered about it, I would just calmly talk to your husband and let him know this will be the last time in your life that either of you go to a strip club. Then let the issue go.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2011): You can speak to him about in a non-jealous manner. Just be honest, but be very clear and non-emotional when you speak to him about the manner.
"To be honest with you, I don't like seeing other women rubbing up on you. Would you feel ok if another man rubbed his body and genitals on my body?"
I am sure he will more than understand.
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