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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: So I just got into contact with my two younger half-siblings. I've never had any contact with them and didn't even know they existed till a few years ago. These are my dad's kids (I don't have contact with my dad) We are planning to meet. Both our mothers are alright with it. They thing is I was talking to my mom tonight about how I thought my eyes and my half-sisters were the same. My mom kept making snide remarks about how we didn't look anything alike and how she looked so much like her mother (she said this in a bad way). I'd like my mom to go with me to meet with these sibs as their mom will be there but I'm worried my mom will just make it worse.I don't want her to ruin this for me. I disliked that she was picking on my little sisters photo but didn't say anything. I understand this makes her uncomfortable this is the woman my dad cheated on her with so the situation is already awkward.How can I have a good relationship with my half-sibs and also not let my mom get hurt and keep her from being mean. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionA female Reader- Thanks for your advice.
TalkingHelps- I want to get to know them because I'm an only child and I've always wanted siblings. Just because my dad is a loser doesn't mean I blame them for the way he has acted. They grew up without him also so we at least have that in common.
CindyCares- Thanks your advice was really helpful to me. I'm really close with my mom so her not being completely okay with it hurt me but I do understand her feelings. The problem is I feel like my half-siblings mother wanted my mom to be there when we meet. That was just the vibe I got, that my mom was expected to go with me. I think my mom is planning on going with me anyway but I was just worried how she would act around them.
Miamine- Thanks I'll be sure to let her know I still love her :)
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (9 September 2010):
 Lots of kisses and telling her she's the best mother in the world, and how you want to make her proud of you.. followed up by, how supportive she is even though this is difficult... slap on some flowers and a nice card.. phone whenever you think of her, and she'll be ok.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 September 2010):
 It's understandable that your mother is upset and does not handle this situation that well.
In a perfect world, since you sound happy and excited to reconnect with your half siblings, she would just be as happy and excited as you are. But the world is not perfect and she is only human ,and these are the kids of the woman with whom your dad cheated on her. Your impending meeting with the sibs may have reawakened in her old,dormant feelings of sadness,anger and humiliation and she may have some trouble coping with that. She may feel a little threatened by the fact that she will have to share your love with members of ...the enemy camp.
Go ahead,meet your siblings and let them be as much part of your life as you see fit. But don't force your mom to get involved when she is not ready. And don't even unload on her tons of informations and descriptions - if she is curious and wants to know how is it going with the sibs, if you get along, who looks like whom, answer her. But for
the moment , let your mother stay out of this if she prefers and do not take her attitude personally. Things will change with time and patience.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): Your mum iks definitely not fine with it, and probably finds you wanting to see them insulting. Also if you have no contact with your dad why would you want contact with them?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): How about you ease up and give your mum some space. It CAN be good for you, just go along and meet you siblings but it is slightly unfair for you to expect your mum to be on board and getting all excited when these children are the product of an affair.
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