A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:After the break up with my exhusband,I read a lot of books to heal and realize that I was a co-dependent and a love addict. I saw the signs and now am aware of why my relationships failed. 7 months ago, I met a man and we instantly connected and were attracted.We became lovers and I walked away many times because of the way he treated me. He never hurt me physically or mentally but he is a liar, cheater, and womanizer.My problem is I feel myself going through major withdrawals and I don't know what to do. I want to call him so bad.Because when we are together it feels so good. I know I deserve a good man in my lifebut I cannot get over this guy. I miss him so much and think about him everyday. We had the best of time together. I am not a psycho or crazy. but i feel myself thinking crazy thoughts. Like i want to drive by and see him. And I cyber stalk him.Even though I was the one that ended it, I wonder if I will ever be normal to ever have a healthy relationship.I am not ready for a relationship because I want to work on myself and be a better person. But the lonliness is getting to me. I literally feel like I need my drug/fix and that is love. I know about loving yourself first and all that, butstill. Everyone has somebody, and this is the first time in my life I don't have a man. How do I get through this period. And if anyone has been down this road, are there any tips to be strong? The road seems so long and impossible. It seems like everyone is in a relationship, and although I am consciously choosing not to be in one, i can't help but think I'll be alone for along time. I feel so crazy for wanting a man who treats me bad. I am missing the crazy fun sex and the laughter I share with him. Is it so wrong to just keep him as a FWB? thanks for the advice.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Leonard Rosmarin  +, writes (11 April 2009):
Dear Love Addict:
You have analyzed your problem very well. You are indeed acting like a drug addict in that you know that what you're doing is bad for you but you are obsessed by the "high" you used to get when you were with the guy who messed up your life. Come on, you can do much better. You can find another vulnerable human being like yourself in desperate need of tenderness and understanding. When you do, your morale will improve one hundred-fold. The two main characters in my recently published novel, "Getting Enough," move towards a loving relationship once they accept each other as fallible mortals and realize that they need each other in order to be happy. For more information, kindly access this website: www.strategicbookpublishing.com/GettingEnough.html.
I wish you the best of luck in your search.
Best regards
Leonard
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009): I am going through exactly the same right now!I think even though a FWB is a nice short term fix. You may end you getting hurt if you fall for him.And how amazing does it feel when you find someone that really loves you propery!However desperately depressing it is to be alone, you just have to bare it until mr right comes along. Stay positive and improve yourself in the mean time!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): hi
think your confused because your doing a lot of things right .. and a lot of things wrong!
The stuff your doing right is actually the harder bits.
your recognising that your picking the wrong types of men to fall in love with .. and when you do your getting rid of them - 10/10 ( for getting rid of them)
However your craving love and affection so much so that your hurting and at risk of repeating this cycle.
My advice would be to forget the guy you've recently split with. He was'nt what you needed and you knew this.
Instead focus on the fact that your a single woman who should be enjoying her life.
Go out on dates with anyone who's decent and asks. with the emphasis being "fun & friendship" keep doing this and you'll likely meet someone special.
key thing here is to be in control of the stuff that you can be. And not beat yourself up about the stuff you cant.
Hope this helps
M
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (8 April 2009):
 Arnt we all addicted to love to some degree? I sure am. I hate being alone. Get into trouble that way. I used to think I was going to end up alone, never allowing myself to be single, accepting the FWB thing too often, going for guys that were not exactly what I dreamed of as a little girl, but it happened. I'm married to the most wonderful man I've ever known. We are happy, never fight, hav 3 kids, respect eachother, are open and honest with eachother etc, etc. I think you are going crazy over tis guy because at the moment, you are alone, and just like myself, we HATE it! Just remember though, if you don't allow yourself to be single and open for a second, that right guy may pass you up without either of you noticing. Try having fun, go out with friends, or do like I did and gather all the gay friends you have and party with them. They are the funnest because there are no strange mind games, they will respect you, and you'll have a blast! And, it will keep you out of trouble. I don't believe you are doomed to roam the planet alone forever, you just need to be distracted with other things for awhile. Soon you will be laughing at yourself for ever going stir crazy about this guy;) Good luck!
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