A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Aunts and Uncles,I have been going through hell of late. So here it goes.I was married for 10 years. 3 of it happy, next three years long distance and unhappy and the past 4 years without having sex and always fighting. I was having an affair for the past 4 years and have been trying to get a divorce from my husband who is a lawyer. he knew about the affair. Finally, I decided to go for it and propsed to my boyfriend. Within a week, he went for an arranged marriage.Now I am happy that I could come out of a bad marriage. But extermely sad and depressed that my boyfriend walked out of the relationship in such a manner.I am just thinking loud! This boyfriend used to hit me and used to control me. My husband was less controlling, but abused me once by forcing me to have anal sex.I have posted this question before. This is like how it has all turned out..very badly..and so much hurt, I can't believe it.I don't know how will come out of this hurt.
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affair, anal sex, depressed, divorce, long distance Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDo I attract abusive types? I would like to believe the answer is no. I guess I buried the anal sex episode deep inside me and that really cost me my self respect. I am still fighting with it. I need to start loving myself again truly.
All the answers are helpful and that really helped find me my confidence. All of you are amazing.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): Hi, sorry to hear about your situation. You must be so lost right now. Hunny anyone who abuses u is not someone who loves you. Tell yourself that you deserve love. Find yourself again & eventualy you will find someone who is worth your time. I just went through something a bit similar & you have to look after yourself. You are worth the world & in time its going to get better. Trust me, it will. Just focus on doing the things that make you happy in life. Goodluck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): You have escaped an unhappy marriage and an abusive boyfriend so my advice is stay on your own for a while and try to build up your friendships and activities so that you can have some fun. Also, if you seem to atttract abusive types, you may find it useful to have some counselling. You can ask your doctor about this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): There seems to be an awful lot of abused women around lately. Your boyfriend hit you and controlled you and then went for an arranged marriage - so why aren't you celebrating that you had a lucky escape from him?
From what I've perceived, arranged marriages are usually quite miserable for all concerned, so I'd say to go and find a man you are attracted to rather than one who has been forced on you by your family.
You're still young and have plenty of time left to make the most of the rest of your life. Your future is in your hands, so make the most of it.
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