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Going through a really bad time getting over my x... so confused and hurting.. help?

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 May 2006) 2 Answers - (Newest, 12 May 2006)
A female , *ubian writes:

Hi there,I've posted before concerning my now ex boyfriend who broke up with me because of your 17 years age difference,I'm a 23 years old female and at present I havent seen him since February 1st of this year 2006,so it's been 3 months now.It is very very hard for me trying to get over him for I think of him every minute of each day and night.Sometimes most nights he's in my dreams and the first person on my mind when i wake up each morning is him.I know that i deserve much better than this so I've been trying really hard not to contact him by phone or text since.However he's always on my mind.I cant seem to be able to let go but i am trying as much as i can.I have met another guy but everytime i'm with him,my ex boyfriend is on my mind.Whenever i look at him,i see my ex's face and sometimes it seems as if i can even smell his cologne even though he's not there,its really very strange.We've just met and are just friends at this time,but whenever i'm around him i feel terrible cause my mind is elsewhere(he's a wonderful person though and funny)I do admit that there are days when i do not think of him as much,and on these days i feel like i can actually get over him,however,on most days i think of him constantly even if i try my hardest not to.And on those days,i just feel like i can't let go of my love for him.I keep wondering if he has met someone else or if he's even spending time with her at that moment.Even thoughts of him being intimate with another woman makes me sick to the stomach,and right away i push those thoughts out of my head since its pains so much to think of that.Days i cry and when i do, i feel stronger,other days i cry and i just feel miserableand weak.Quite a few times,my ex had called me after he broke up with me,asking if i was thinking about him at that particular time of the day or night, example around 11pm or so,and i'd say yes,which was strange cause i really was.I found it very strange cause many times too we contact each other at exactly the same times,sometimes i'll text him and as my text to him is getting to him,he'll be calling me on my cell and we'll both be surprised.It felt really strange cause most times we found out that we were both thinking about each other at exactly the same time.One time i was awake around 4:45 one morning and he was constantly on my mind,so i decided to send him a text.His response came back to me exactly 1 minute after saying"hi,i was just thinking of you,i'll see you when i get back on sunday"So i wondered what would he be doing up at that time of the morning while he's on vacation thinking about me.Anyway my problem is that i just cant seem to be able to get over him,sometimes i feel like i have started to but then realize that i'm only lying to myself.Lately i've been longing to be intimate with someone,since i haven't been since i last saw him in february of this year 2006,but i do not want to call him for that cause i just wont feel right,i'm worth more that that and i dont want him looking at me as if i'm desperate.i want him to respect me as he always have and not lose respect for me if i was to do this.At this point i just cannot see myself having sex or being intimate with another man,but i long to be intimate,but i just want him(my ex).Please,any bit of advice would be greatly appreciated,i'm just so confused and hurting.Thank you all in advance....blessed be.

View related questions: broke up, my ex, text

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A female reader, matron +, writes (12 May 2006):

matron agony auntHi, i really feel for you, not because i've been through exactly what you're going through but because you cant see the light at the end of that long tunnel, beleive me there is a light and you will get through this but its going to take time and alot of effort on your part.Try to start by planning the future and not dwelling on the past, you can never go back to what you had even if he ran back with open arms because you would always have the fear of losing him again and the feelings you have now would keep rearing its head and prevent you from enjoying the moment. You have started to move on with your life and you are heading in the right direction, just keep looking forward and remember that you owe it to yourself to enjoy life. Life is what you make it and you are young. This is the first day of the rest of your life, you go girl and good luck.

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A female reader, sex deprived +, writes (12 May 2006):

I went through the same thing 3 years ago with my ex to tell u the truth I just got over him last summer I find when u really love someone it hurts really bad and you dont know if u ever will get over him but it takes time to heal they never built rome in a day. Im living proof things do get better and when u do finally get over him your going to look back at your past and say why did I ever go out with him. Good Luck and I found shopping and spending time with friends helped me stop thinking about my ex

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