A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my problem is about boys! i'll begin from a year before.oh by da way i'm 15So last year during December i was going through some problems and i was in a real state, so i went to my best friends house, and she wasn't there, her brother (Jack) a year older than myself opened the door. he seen me upset so he asked what was wrong, i finally gave up and told him, he gave me advice and we had a moment were we where about to kiss, we both leaned forward and our lips where close to touching but i backed out and ran off home.Since then i've had deep feelings for him. I told him nothing can happen and it was all a mistake. He tried several attempts to talk to me about it but i ignored him, and constantly told him no! as he was my best friends brother. god knows how she would feel, probably not the most excited person. So i left it as a total NO!When the little incident took place with Jack, i had a boyfriend,Tom. We began going out then and later he was a real pain in the backside. At first when the incident happened with Jack, i felt ever so guilty, even though i hadn't done anything, like go ahead with the kiss. I felt like i cheated on Tom, and constantly felt bad and awful. At first when me and Tom began going out he was such a sweetheart but later he became very clingy but at first i found it cute and thought it as him wanting to spend every minute with me was because he likes me alot, and as a gesture of being sweet. Then sometime later he became distant and we'd never do anything togther, we'd hardly see each other, he would never text me back. So i assumed it was him needing space so i did. I didn't bother him much as i was afraid he might get annoyed and pissed off. After, he became to protective, which again i thought was a boyfriend thing and him being sweet and nice and wanting best for me. But then he began making accusations like i was staring at soo and so boy when i hadn't or he'd make a big deal of me talking to boys, which i'd hardly ever. Nearly everyday i'd cry myself to sleep, because i'd feel like i'm in the wrong. And i couldn't stop feeling hurt constantly. Eventhough i told Jack NO, i would have liked to talk to him but i had to practically stop contact with nearly everyone because of TOM's insercurity. Then around about June, July time there was a prom at my school and Tom didn't ask me if i'd want to go. So i went with my friends just as a group of girls, i didn't ask any other boy because i was afraid Tom might flip. Anyways when i got there he was with anoher girl, i didn't make a scene and ignored it, i tried having fun but was unable to. There was a dance for couples, and my friends went off with there boyfriends and i sat on the side watching, then i went of i think outside and Tom approached me, he grabbed my arm really hard, and began questioning me, like his mates made up rumours about me, and he'd belived them, so he nagged at me and called me all sorts of names. I tried being calm about it, but how much is a girl seriously meant to take, so i broke up with him. When i first liked Tom he wasn nothing to what i know the Tom as now. Anyways i was quite broken hearted about the whole situation, as we were dating for 8 months.Now i don't know what to do about Jack, it's been a year and i still like him, my feelings for him have grown deeper. i'm confused of what to do. Since July after the break up, me and Jack have been talking more and really get along. I talk to him occasionally online, he's still the same person as last year. I dream about him alot for some reason. I feel crazy, nearly 3 times a week, i see him in my dreams. Anyways, he seems to be intrested in me, but i'm not sure if i should ask him out, because of him being my best friends brother after all. he never makes me feel worthless. And all i can do is think about him all the time. Obviously studies first but other times.what should i do, ask Jack out or not? and how should i tell my best friend about how i feel about her brother?
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best friend, broke up, friend's brother, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): I think its not fair to date ur frnds brother,.. and specially without her knowledege...
My best frnd started to go around with my brother,..and they hid it all from me! it ws completely shattering.. and still is!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2009): Ask Jack out!!!!! If you both like each other!!!! That Tom guy sounds like a real asshole!!!!!
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (25 December 2009):
 I didn't read the whole thing, sorry, it was REALLY long. But I did read your last paragraph. Sometimes going out with a brother is OK, sometimes not. You'll need to just ask your friend if it's OK first or else you might lose her as a friend.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2009): i understand ur situation completely i had been fallin for my best friend and soon became depressed when he didnt like me back but then i began talking to my best friends brother and my depression soon began to fade away as did my affection for my friend... at that same time i began to fall in love with my best friends brother. for a while i didnt say i thing about my feelings for him around her but eventually when i began to feel like he liked me i told my friend that i liked her brother and it turned out that she was completely fine with it. so i think that u should tell ur friend about your feelings for her brother and then ask him out if u really think that he is attracted to you. goodluck!
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